Bicycle Collision On Katy Trail

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Staff Reporter

BREAKING NEWS!

J.D. Clampett reports that there was a head-on bicycle collision on the Katy Trail about 0.5 mile east of Rhineland this morning.  No injuries resulted, but both bicycles were seriously damaged.  Neither party carried collision or liability coverage on their expensive European built racing bikes.  A lawsuit has been threatened by both parties.

Jimmy Oldsun
Staff Reporter

Lost and Found Department

Posted by Jimmy Oldsun, Staff Reporter

FOUND:  Very intelligent computer literate cat near the intersection of 4th and Schiller Streets.  Please claim by contacting 'Hermann Hearsay' at 1-800-HEARSAY.  Ask to speak to Jimmy Oldsun or Lois Lame.

Jimmy Oldsun
Staff Reporter

Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth!

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

I had lunch downtown with Elmer, Herb and Clyde today.  The conversation was very lively and interesting!

Elmer started off by asking "Say boys, did ya hear what happened up at the county commission meeting this mornin'?"

Herb:  "Why no, Elmer!  What happened?"

Elmer:  "Well, it seems that Commissioner Penning asked for go-ahead approval from those other two commissioner fellars to do some renovation work in the second floor courtroom.  Seems that ol' Matt is tryin' to respond to some much needed work that the judges have been requesting for awhile now."

Clyde:  "Is that so, Elmer?  Go ahead.  Please do continue."

Elmer:  "Well, ol' Matt, God bless his soul, he had taken on the project of meetin' with some very qualified contractors here in the county to plan out the work and get their expert advice.  Many of the contractors and suppliers ol' Matt has talked to even offered to throw in their labor free and some of the needed materials to get the job done at a very, very low cost to the county.  Seems the judges have some extra money left over in a law library fund or some such thing like that which they are willing to use to pay for the work."

Herb:  "Hey, now we're talkin', Elmer!  It's good to see someone finally takin' the bull by the horns to get somethin' done on our county courthouse!  Commissioners Jost and Lairmore have always been sayin' that we don't have a plan, and we don't have any money for courthouse renovation.  Now, it looks like ol' Matt has come up with both a plan and some money ...... at least for one courtroom."

Clark (me):  "Yeh, that does sound good, Elmer!  And so how was ol' Matt's proposal received by Commissioners Jost and Lairmore?"

Elmer:  "Not so good, Clark!  Not so good!"

Clark (me):  "Really!  So what problems did they see with ol' Matt's proposed plan?"

Elmer:  "Well, I hear they had a real doozy of an intellectual exchange!  Seems those other two commissioner boys don't like the idea of usin' volunteer labor nor do they apparently like the idea of acceptin' donated building materials.  On top of all that, they have also raised questions about liability insurance and questions about ol' Matt's ability to manage the project usin' those volunteers."

Clyde:  "Oh yeah, Elmer, I believe I read somethin' about this on that other news blog.  What do they call it?  Hermann somethin' or other?"

Elmer:  "So the upshod of all this is that the courtroom renovation which ol' Matt was ready to get started on has now been put on indefinite hold.  Yep, ol' Jost and Lairmore have more questions and concerns than Carter has little liver pills!  And I understand that there is a growin' number of people in the county who are gettin' plenty pissed with their continuing foot draggin' and outright obstruction of courthouse renovation work!"

Herb:  "So Elmer, what does the GCCS have to say about this?  Have President Jon Held and Treasurer Glenn Warnebold weighed in on this?  Do they even know about this yet?

Elmer:  "I don't think they know about this yet ....... but they soon will!"

Clark (me):  "Boys, this reminds me of something my old high school Latin teacher used to say ..... Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!"

Elmer:  "Yep, it sure does look like Commissioners Jost and Lairmore are looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Ol' Matt made 'em a great offer, made possible through the generosity of some very skilled craftsmen and established contractors in our local area.  But Commissioners Jost and Lairmore evidently want to look into the mouth of that horse which has been gifted to them, I guess to see if the horse has any bad teeth or no teeth at all.  Not smart, Clark!  Not very smart at all!"

Herb:  "Guess we just need to sit back and see what happens next!"

Temporary Live Webcam At 4th & Schiller Streets

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

A dark rainy November night at 4th & Schiller Streets in Hermann!  Sorry, our webcam broke at 7:30 pm tonight, so we have substituted a still image of a rainy intersection in New York City!  Our crews will work through the night until the live webcam image is restored!

Gasconade County Financial Condition

Posted by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Conversation down at the coffee shop was very lively this morning.  When I arrived, my old coffee-drinkin' buddies, Elmer and Herb, were already there.  The conversation centered on the financial condition of Gasconade County.  Elmer had heard that the county is in very serious financial trouble, but Herb said it wasn't really so.  They asked me my opinion, and I said that I didn't really know for sure.  I told 'em that I was waitin' to read a full report in the County Commission Meeting Minutes that the Hermann A-C always carries.  I told 'em that I was sure the County Commissioners would be managing the county's budget very closely.  Afterall, I told them, the concern about the county's finances had been raised way back in July.  The County Clerk had urged the Commissioners to address the problem back then.  Surely, I told Elmer and Herb, our county officials have been cutting out unnecessary expenses all along and allocating county money according to the highest county priorities.

About that time our waitress, Sarah, approached the table to refill our coffee cups.  "Well good morning, Sarah!"  I said.  "Have you heard anything about the county's financial condition?"

"Well, I've just overheard people talkin' about it here in the coffee shop."  Sarah responded.  "Seems we don't have money to properly clean and maintain the courthouse, nor to pay the utility bills, nor to even pay the bills for housing prisoners up at the Montgomery County Jail." 

"Is that so?!" I exclaimed.  "So what's the County Commission gonna do about all this?"

Sarah said she didn't know.

I guess we'll just have to wait and read all about it in the County Commission Meeting Minutes.  Or maybe we could attend the weekly meetings of the County Commission.  I understand the meetings are held every Thursday morning at 8:30 am.

If anyone has information on this subject, please drop us a line here at Hermann Hearsay.

Wooly Worm Forecasts Harsh Winter Ahead?

Posted by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

This morning while out for walk in the neighborhood, I came across a cute lil' wooly worm making his way slowly across the street. I noted that this particular wooly worm was very dark in color ..... nearly black.

Now I've always heard that dark wooly worms are a good predictor of a deep and harsh winter ahead. At least that's what my grandparents and parents always told me.

I wanted to confirm this with my good buddies, Elmer and Herb, down at the coffee shop. But I got a mixed interpretation from them.

Elmer said that indeed black wooly worms forecast a bitter winter ahead. But Herb said that the wooly worm fable is just a bunch of malarky.

So I thought I'd open up the question to 'Hermann Hearsay' readers. What do you think? Should I buy some new red flannel long underwear and a snow shovel .... OR should I just stop worrying about what might lay immediately ahead?

High-Class Readership of 'Hermann Hearsay'

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

It has been brought to my attention that lots of local celebrities and dignitaries read 'Hermann Hearsay'. Yes! I have been told that the #1 and #2 journalists in all of Gasconade County read 'HH' in order to get good ideas and inspiration for articles in their own publications. A well-connected source who shall remain nameless but whose code name is 'Daffy Duck' told me that there are even a number of well-known local government officials who read 'HH' everyday. The knowledge of this pleases us to no end! Apparently the budgets and capital spending plans for which these government officials are responsible and accountable are in great shape so that they have nothing better to do than spend their valuable time reading our articles. I hope doing so helps clear their minds and relax them so that they are better prepared to fulfull their important official public duties. Afterall, 'HH' is here to serve the local community!

In addition to the local celebrities and dignitaries who read 'HH', amazingly enough we also have a number of famous international figures who read our stuff almost daily. Can you believe it?! Our little local sometimes daily news blog?! Tony Blair (UK), Gordon Brown (UK), Paul McCartney (UK), Hugo Chavez (Venezuela) and Kim Jong Il (North Korea) are all loyal 'HH' readers!

We are thankful to all of our loyal readers ..... whether you are "high-class" or not!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

A Sad Week for Missouri Sports Fans

Published by Jimmy Oldsin, Reporter In Training

Sports fans across the entire state have suffered through one of the worst weeks in Missouri sports history. At least this reporter cannot recall a week any worse than the one which we have just completed.

The week started out with our beloved Cards losing two NLDS games to the Dodgers out in Dodger Stadium. Then on Thursday night, the 24th ranked Missouri Tigers blew a lead over the 21st ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers in the 4th quarter on a rain-soaked Faurot Field. On Friday evening, the Dodgers completed their sweep over the Cardinals in a chilly Busch Stadium. The St. Louis Blues then lost their first hockey game of the season. The losing week from hell was capped off on Sunday afternoon by the St. Louis Rams' loss to the Minnesota Vikings and the Kansas City Chief's loss to the Dallas Cowboys. Even our Hermann Bearcats went down to defeat this past Friday .... but that was not much of a surprise.

Once again it looks like Missouri won't be playing for the National Championship, the Cards won't be in the World Series, and neither the Rams nor the Chiefs will make it to the Super Bowl. When does the tiddly wink season begin?!

Blue Sky Image In Header Not Copyrighted

Posted by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

We here at 'Hermann Hearsay' have voluntarily agreed to change the image displayed as part of our blog header. We have found that a few people have taken exception to our use of the German School Museum image in our blog header. So, in order not to offend them or anyone else in the Hermann area, we have decided to remove it and replace it with a photo of the "Blue Sky Above Hermann". Our legal department informs us that no individual, organization, municipality, county, state or nation can claim the exclusive use copyright to an image of the blue sky above any residence, museum, business place, municipality, county or state. Relying upon our in-house legal advice, we are displaying an image of the "Blue Sky Above Hermann". We hope that our readers will enjoy a little "blue sky", and we hope that no one will take offense to our choice of this image for our blog.

Now, if you do take offense for some reason which I cannot possibly imagine, just give us a call, send us an email or submit a comment here on our blog and I'll have our customer service people jump right on the matter! We are here to make friends and serve our readers .... not to make enemies! I think you will find us very responsive to any complaints about our use of the clear "blue sky".

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

A New Direction for Hermann Hearsay

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

It was brought to my attention today that certain people in the local community have taken a fair measure of offense to a few of the articles we have posted during the past couple months. While our articles regarding local political issues and breaking local news have been intended as humorous spoofs and nothing more, it is very clear that some hyper-sensitive public officials have not seen or appreciated the humor which we intended.

With respect and deferrence to the office of these public officials and with respect and deferrence to the local community at large, "Hermann Hearsay" has voluntarily deleted the postings which others have felt were most offensive. In fact, "Hermann Hearsay" has gone a step further and we have deleted all postings, even those which were intended as spoofs on national political figures and national public policy.

"Hermann Hearsay" will be taking a different editorial direction in the future. We will continue to speak out on local, state and national issues without employing cutting humor and cynicism in our writing style. No content, however, will be avoided. No content will dropped. We will however modify our writing style, and I will personally exercise more editorial control over content.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

Welcome to 'Hermann Hearsay' ....

Welcome to 'Hermann Hearsay'!

This is a place to freely discuss and debate stories of local interest. Your opinions and viewpoints will always be welcome. While other local venues may edit, censor and even refuse to publish your comments, that will never occur at 'Hermann Hearsay'.

Please feel free to speak out anonymously and passionately about important local issues. Although your opinions and viewpoints may go against the grain and challenge the thinking of others, we will support and defend your Constitutional right under the First Amendment to freely express your views.

We will start out very small with only a handful of regular participants. But as time goes by and the conversation at this site becomes more lively and open, we will gain more and more followers. Think of this place as your local cyber coffee shop. Think of it as a place where you can come to discuss the news of the day with others who are interested in the same things you're interested in.

Now, we won't always agree on all things. Thank the Lord for that! It would be a very boring world if we all thought alike! This will be a place where you will meet new friends. Some will think exactly like you, and others will stretch your thinking.

We encourage you to discuss and debate the issues of the day openly and passionately. But please refrain from using profane language and please treat one another with courtesy and respect. Please be agreeable in your disagreements.

We will endeavor to post an article each day to provoke thought and discussion. We will focus on the following subjects: community issues, city government, county government, state government, federal government, Missouri Tiger sports, and recipes. These are our interests. What are yours? What subjects or topics would you like for us to research and report on?

Your site moderator,

Truman T. Tiger