Thursday, April 8, 2010

250 Subscribers and Still Growing!

Published by Lois Lame, Subscriptions and Advertising

Clark Kant has asked me to thank all our loyal
subscribers and commenters on his behalf this weekend.  We recently reached the 250 mark, and Clark wanted to recognize all of you! 

He would be writing this article himself, but, at the urging of one of our vocal critics, Clark has checked himself into a clinic in St. Louis and is undergoing psychotherapy.  Please pray for him!

I don't know if our readers appreciate it or not, but we are in a highly competitive business. God only knows how hard it is to get ahead of all the other local online daily news websites on a consistent basis.  Sometimes we succeed, however too often they beat us to the story. But throughout it all, our ups and our downs and through thick and thin, you have stayed with us.

I've gone back through the records and assembled a list of all of our subscribers, readers and active commenters. You see, here at HermannHearsay, you are not a just number.  You are not merely a statistic that we use to promote our website by crowing about the rapid growth in our readership.  No, quite the contrary, to us, you are real people, our friends and our neighbors. And we want to acknowledge your loyal readership and patronage by saying "Thank You!" to each and everyone of you.  You will note that we now have a few subscribers who reside in countries outside of the U.S.  And we even have a cat who is a recent subscriber.  Please welcome 'Tater Tot', a computer literate feline who belongs to 'Red Tater'.

We are working on a Hermann Hearsay golf shirt.  These golf shirts will be available excusively to our subscribers at a very nominal charge.  We will notify our subscribers when the shirts are available.  We expect to have the artwork finalized by July.

Thanks very much to the following loyal subscribers, readers and frequent commenters .........
  1. A. E. Newman (USA)
  2. Abigail Applewhite (USA)
  3. Abner Doubleday (USA)
  4. Adolf Oliver Busch (USA)
  5. Adolf Oliver Nipple
  6. Albert Brown (USA)
  7. Al Coholic (USA)
  8. Al K. Holic (USA)
  9. Al Smith (USA)
  10. Alphonse Capone (USA)
  11. Amanda Hugandkiss (USA)
  12. Anita Dick (USA)
  13. Anita Drink (USA)
  14. Annie Body (USA)
  15. Anonymous #1 (USA)
  16. Anonymous #2 (USA)
  17. Anonymous #3 (USA)
  18. Anonymous #4 (USA)
  19. Anonymous #5 (USA)
  20. Anthony Belfiore (USA)
  21. Antonio Luigi Cockalotti (USA)
  22. April Showers (USA)
  23. Archie Bunker (USA)
  24. Barb B. Cue (USA)
  25. Barb Wire (USA)
  26. Barbie Dahl (USA)
  27. Barney Fife (USA)
  28. Barry Schmelly (USA)
  29. Bea Sting (USA) 
  30. Belle E. Flopp (USA)
  31. Ben Dover (USA)
  32. Ben Gay (USA)
  33. Bertha D. Blues (USA)
  34. Betty Kant (USA)
  35. Beula Bowelmovement (USA)
  36. Bill Board (USA)
  37. Bill Ding (USA)
  38. Bo Snurdley (USA)
  39. Bob Finch (USA)
  40. Bobby Brown (USA)
  41. Bobby McGee (USA)
  42. Bob Smith (USA)
  43. Bud Abbott (USA)
  44. Buffalo Bob (USA)
  45. Buford T. Justice (USA)
  46. Candi Dish (USA)
  47. Candy Sweet (USA)
  48. Captain Kangaroo (USA)
  49. Charlie Brown (USA)
  50. Charlie Farquharson (USA)
  51. Charles F. Smith (USA)
  52. Chris Anthemum (USA)
  53. Chris P. Bacon (USA)
  54. Chris P. Cream (USA)
  55. Clark Gable (USA)
  56. Chester Goode (USA)
  57. Clayton Moore (USA)
  58. Cledus 'Snowman' Snow (USA)
  59. Clem Kadiddlehopper (USA)
  60. Cletus Clawhammer (USA)
  61. Clyde Kadiddlehopper (USA)
  62. Constance Cantwell (USA)
  63. Crystal Chanda Leir (USA)
  64. Curly (USA)
  65. Daddy Warbucks (USA)
  66. Daffy G. Duck (USA)
  67. Dan Dunderhead (USA)
  68. Debbie Finch (USA)
  69. Dick B. Long (USA)
  70. Dick Fitzwell (USA)
  71. Dick Gazinya (USA)
  72. Dick Heads (USA)
  73. Dick Holder (USA)
  74. Dick Israel Small (USA) 
  75. Dick Schaefer (USA)
  76. Dick Stillhard (USA)
  77. Dick Sweat (USA)
  78. Dickie Smothers (USA)
  79. Dixie Normous (USA)
  80. Dixon Tudeep (USA) 
  81. Don Rickles (USA)
  82. Don Smith (USA)
  83. Don Quixote (USA)
  84. Drew Peacock (USA)
  85. Dr. Theodore Festerpus (USA)
  86. Ed Norton (USA)
  87. Edith Bunker (USA)
  88. Egbert Smith (USA)
  89. Ella Mentry (USA)
  90. Ellie Mae Clampitt (USA)
  91. Elmer J. Fudd (USA)
  92. Elmer Hugz (USA)
  93. Emerson Biggins (USA)
  94. Emil Brown (USA)
  95. Emil Overkamp (USA)
  96. Ethyl Mirtz (USA)
  97. Fauntleroy S. Smith (USA)
  98. Fawn Dell Maibalz (USA)
  99. Festus Haggen (USA)
  100. Flossy Funderburk (USA)
  101. Forrest Ranger (USA)
  102. Foster Brooks (USA)
  103. Frank Brown (USA)
  104. Frank Furter (USA)
  105. Fred G. Sanford (USA)
  106. Fred Mirtz (USA)
  107. Fritz Filibuster (USA)
  108. Gabby Hayes (USA)
  109. Gabriel G. Smith (USA)
  110. Gary Brown (USA)
  111. Gary Pinkel (USA)
  112. Gasco Citizen (USA)
  113. Gaylord Focker (USA)
  114. Geri Attrick (USA)
  115. Gertrude Schenkelburg (USA)
  116. Gomer Pyle (USA) 
  117. Gordon Gate (USA)
  118. Hal Apeno (USA)
  119. Hankie E. Pankie (USA)
  120. Happy Shoveler (USA)
  121. Harry Brown (USA)
  122. Harry Butts (USA)
  123. Harry P. Ness (USA)
  124. Haywood Jablowme (USA)
  125. Hedley Lamarr (USA)
  126. Helen Heaven (USA)
  127. Henrietta Hornschwagel (USA)
  128. Herbert Patrick Joseph John Williams (USA)
  129. Herbert Smith (USA)
  130. Herbie Hambuerger (USA) 
  131. Howdy Doody (USA)
  132. Howie Feltersnatch (USA)
  133. Hugh G. Rection (USA)
  134. Hugh Jass (USA)
  135. Idell Brown (USA)
  136. Ima Horr (USA)
  137. Ima Realfule (USA)
  138. I. P. Daily (USA)
  139. I. P. Freely (USA)
  140. Isaac Cox (USA)
  141. Ivanna Humpalot (USA)
  142. Ivonna Tinkle (USA)
  143. Jack Cass (USA)
  144. Jack Daniels (USA)
  145. Jack Mehoff (USA)
  146. Jack N. Noff (USA)
  147. Jack Pot (USA)
  148. Jacques Clouseau (France)
  149. Jacques Strapp (France)
  150. James Brown (USA)
  151. Jay Silverheels (USA)
  152. J. C. Higgenbottom (USA)
  153. Jean Girard (France) 
  154. Jeffrey Needle (USA)
  155. Jenna Talia (USA)
  156. Jerry Attrick (USA)
  157. Jethro Bodine (USA)
  158. Jim Beam (USA)
  159. Jim Nasium (USA)
  160. John Doe (USA)
  161. John Smith (USA)
  162. Johnny Fever (USA)
  163. Johnny Walker (USA)
  164. Julian Javier (USA)
  165. Junior Samples (USA)
  166. Keisha Mei Ash (USA)
  167. Kenneth Brown (USA)
  168. Kenny G. (USA)
  169. Kenny Smith (USA)
  170. K. Liarmore (USA)
  171. Larry (USA)
  172. Larry Smith (USA)
  173. Lawrence Brown (USA)
  174. Lea Tard (USA)
  175. Les Nessman (USA)
  176. Liz B. Anne (USA)
  177. Marilyn Johnson (USA)
  178. Mark McGwire (USA)
  179. Mary Chris Smith (USA)
  180. Mary Juanna  (USA)
  181. Max (USA)
  182. Max E. Padd (USA) 
  183. Maxwell Smart (USA)
  184. Melissa Smith (USA)
  185. Mike Krzyzewski (USA)
  186. Mike Litoris (USA)
  187. Mike Hunt (USA)
  188. Millard Brown (USA)
  189. Moe (USA)
  190. Mr. Green Jeans (USA)
  191. Mr. Moose (USA)
  192. Mrs. Hannigan (USA)
  193. M.T. Mylode (USA) 
  194. Nathaniel Smith (USA)
  195. Norbert Brown (USA)
  196. Norm Stewart (USA)
  197. Olan Brown (USA)
  198. Oliver T. Shagnasty (USA)
  199. Omar P. Smith (USA)
  200. Otis Campbell (USA)
  201. Paul Brown (USA)
  202. Paul Smith (USA)
  203. Penny Tration (USA)
  204. Peter B. Stiff (USA)
  205. Peter Cottontail (USA)
  206. Peter Piper (USA)
  207. Phil McCracken (USA)
  208. Phineas Taylor Barnum (USA)
  209. Ralph Cramden (USA)
  210. Randall R. Smith (USA)
  211. Red Tators (USA)
  212. Reuben B. Sandwich (USA)
  213. Rhett Butler (USA)
  214. Richard Head (USA)
  215. Richard "Dick" Smoker (USA)
  216. Richard Franklin Fosdick (USA)
  217. Ricky Bobby (USA)
  218. Robyn DeCradle (USA)
  219. Ronald Brown (USA)
  220. Rupert Murdoch (USA)
  221. Sanford Brown (USA)
  222. Seymour Buttz (USA)
  223. Slim Pickens (USA)
  224. Slim Whitman (USA)
  225. Steven Smith (USA)
  226. Stu Pid (USA)
  227. Sue E. Side (USA)
  228. Tad Pole (USA)
  229. Tator Tot - Cat (USA)
  230. Terry Aki (USA) 
  231. Terry Dactyl (USA)
  232. Tess Eckel (USA)
  233. Thurston Howell III (USA)
  234. Tim Conway (USA)
  235. Timothy Brown (USA)
  236. Tommy Gun (USA)
  237. Tommy Smothers (USA)
  238. Tony Smith (USA)
  239. Ty Twad (USA)
  240. Urban Brown (USA)
  241. Val Brown (USA)
  242. Walter Brown (USA)
  243. Walter Smith (USA)
  244. Willie B. Hardigan (USA)
  245. Willie B. Hungwell (USA)
  246. Willie Nelson (USA)
  247. Willie Smith (USA)
  248. Won Hung Lo (Japan)
  249. Xavier T. Bown (USA)
  250. Yadier Molina (Puerto Rica)

If I've inadvertently failed to list your name, I apologize profusely. Just call me, email me or catch me at a local coffee shop , and I will correct our records immediately.

Lois Lame
Subscriptions and Advertising
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Hermann Hearsay Strivng To Become A BIG HITTER!

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

We're getting more and more FREE subscribers all the time, but they just aren't "hitting on the site" like they are at other websites of our type.  Our subscribers are now coming from many locations in the USA.  Johnny Fever of Cincinnati was our 250th subscriber just recently.  Jean Girard of Paris, France signed up just last week.  Mr. Girard is our only non-USA subscriber thus far.

Although we have 250 subscribers, for which we are very thankful, and a few occasional crank visitors, we're only generating 1 page view per subscriber per day or 250 page views per day. After the first 100 days of this year, we only have a total of  only 250 subscribers x 1 page view/subscriber-day x 100 days = 25,000 page views so far.  That's far behind the BIG HITTER online news service in our local area!
So subscribers, if you're reading this, we need you to "hit us up" about 12 times per day in order to reach the level of page views being experienced by our biggest competitor. If you had done that during the first 100 days of 2010, we'd be on par with the BIG HITTER in local online news!  We would have generated 250 subscribers x 12 page views/subscriber-day x 100 days = 300,000 page views.  Then we too could claim to be a BIG HITTER!

So subscribers, here's how you can help us out ........

Just click on http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/ and add us to your Favorites list.  Then everyday from now on, just "hit us up" twelve (12) times per day.  We suggest that you try us on the following schedule of every two hours:
  1. 1 am
  2. 3 am
  3. 5 am
  4. 7 am
  5. 9 am
  6. 11 am
  7. 1 pm
  8. 3 pm
  9. 5 pm
  10. 7 pm
  11. 9 pm
  12. 11 pm
Jimmy, Lois and I thank you for your help!  Remember:  Until we become a BIG HITTER, we are only a LITTLE HITTER!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com