Saturday, March 27, 2010

Free Drawing for Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew and His Great Tasting German Potato Salad

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter and Advertising Account Representative

Not to be outdone by Wings-A-Blazin' and CountyNewsLIVE.com, Elmer J. Fudd has authorized Hermann Hearsay to run a free weekly drawing for two pounds of his famous Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew and two pounds of his imitation Newman's German Potato Salad.  (Note:  Elmer's German Potato Salad attempts to replicate the great taste of Matt Penning's famous potato salad recipe which he inherited from his Grandma Newman.  However, it is not the exact same recipe.  One of the differences is that Elmer uses wabbit bits while Matt Penning uses bacon bits.)

So please submit your names and telephone numbers so we can enter you into our free weekly drawing.  You need only submit your information one time, not every week.  We will make the first drawing next Friday and then every Friday thereafter.

Elmer is teaming up with our Advertisers Services Department to run this weeky drawing as a clever promotion for his catering service Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew Catering Service.  Elmer says you can call him 24/7 at his toll free number 1-800-WABBITS to place an order for his famous wabbit stew, German potato salad and all the fixin's.  Elmer says to buy your beer elsewhere, as he does not have a liquor license.

Hermann Hearsay reminds you that everything we do here is FREE ...... FREE weekly drawing, FREE subscription, FREE advertising, etc.  Why pay more?  Put http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/ into your Favorites and visit our website daily!

Lois Lame
Lifestyles Reporter and Advertising Account Representative
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/

Friday, March 26, 2010

Editorial Comment: The Information Age In Hermann - Or Is It The Misinformation Age?

Straight from the horse's mouth .....
An editorial comment by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The Information Age has come to the City of Hermann much as it has come to the rest of the world.  Hermannites enjoy the use of all manner of modern day communication devices such as cordless telephones, voice recorders, mobile cellphones, pagers, iPhones, Blackberries, flat screen digital HDTVs, personal computers and so forth.  Hermannites routinely communicate with other people by telephoning them, by paging them, by text messaging them, and by exchanging emails with them.  Sometimes Hermannites even communicate the old-fashioned way by talking to their neighbors face-to-face in coffee shops, restaurants and smoke-filled taverns. 

Hemannites are as internet savvy as any other group of people on the planet.  We surf the net.  We purchase items and services online.  We blog, exchange ideas and "hook-up" with people we've never met.  And for the past two years, we've been reading local daily online news accounts published by various news media outlets.

The concept of daily online news reporting was first introduced into the Hermann area a couple years ago by Jeff Noedel when he began publishing HermannMuenster.com, along with various other local online news websites like BergerWithCheese.com and others.  Last November, the business partnership between Jeff Noedel and Glenn Warnebold came to an abrupt, angry and controversial end.  HermannMuenster.com changed its name to HermannNews.com under the ownership of the Warnebolds and the new online news service remained in their offices on Market Street, while Jeff Noedel and his staff moved around the street corner to an office on west Fifth Street.  Mr. Noedel soon re-emerged with his CountyNewsLIVE.com website.  So now, whether we really need them or not, we have two daily online news outlets ..... HermannNews.com and CountyNewsLIVE.com.  Along with The Hermann Advertiser-Courier and HermannAdvertiserCourier.com which are weekly publications and HermannHearsay.com which publishes articles on an irregular frequency basically whenever we damned well feel like it, it seems that we have more doggone local news stories than the average Hermannite can possibly read ..... unless, of course, he/she is retired or incarcerated in a penal institution of some sort.  I suppose we shouldn't complain about all of this local news coverage.  Afterall, it's much better than being totally uninformed.  Or is it?

Consider for a moment what we have gained since daily online news reporting first came to Hermann:
  1. We now get duplicate and sometimes triplicate coverage of many local news stories.  How many accounts of city council, county commission and feral cat committee meetings do you really need or want to read?  The articles all end up looking pretty much the same to me!
  2. We receive more coverage of the Hermann Bearcat sports teams than St. Louisans receive of the Cardinals, the Blues and the Rams.  Why do I need all this coverage of high school sports anyway?  I guess it would be fine if I had a snotty-nosed, spoiled teenager playing on one or more of the Bearcat teams!  Thankfully, I don't!
  3. We've had the live webcams monitoring the intersection of Fourth and Market Streets, the entrances to Peoples Savings Bank on west Fifth Street and now we have the Fourth Street webcam.  Whoopdeedoo!  Why does Jeff Noedel think that I have the need (and the time) to be a mind-numb voyeur, sitting at my computer and watching Hermann people drive down Fourth Street?  Answer, Mr. Noedel?  I don't!  And I seriously doubt whether anyone else is interested in Fourth Street traffic.  Now, if you want to install your live webcams at the county courthouse and the city administration building to broadcast the weekly county commission meetings and city council meetings, I just might be interested.  Check around.  Maybe others would be interested as well.
  4. We get daily weather reports brought to us by Dave Murray of FOX 2 News.  Why do I need this?  I watch ol' Dave enough on TV already ..... morning and evening.  I can also go to Weather.com whenever I feel the need. 
  5. We get the obituaries of local people.  Are the obituary cards printed up and distributed by our local funeral home no longer sufficient for my needs?  Thanks, but I read these at the local coffee shops and restaurants.  And if I happen to miss any of the little cards, I can always refer to my weekly edition of The Hermann Advertiser-Courier.
  6. We get nice photos of very tasty-looking food offerings by various restaurants throughout the county.  But wouldn't it be nice to also get the associated aromas?  Now that would really be super cool and revolutionary!  We already have digital high-definition video and audio broadcasting.  But wouldn't it be nice to have high-definition olfactory broadcasting to enhance our experience on these daily online news sites!  Get on that project, Mr. Noedel!  You could make journalism history!  And put Hermann on the map in so doing!
  7. We get YouTube video clips.  Don't they think I'm capable of going to YouTube.com and watching video clips on my own?  I usually look at the funny ones and the political ones rather than the old TV commercials from yesteryear.
  8. We also get lots of press releases sent out by every inconsequential organization in town and every inconsequential organization outside of town.  Why do I care when they're having their chili suppers?  Chili gives me gas.  Give me a break, Jeff!  If I'm not a member of these organizations, I don't give a tinker's damned what they're doing!
Now consider what we are not getting that we could and should be getting from all of our local high-powered journalistic talent:
  1. Investigative reporting and critical exposes on the following topics of local interest:  "Whatever Happened To Jon Held And The GCCS?" ..... "Whatever Happened To The Horace Brown Engineering Study Regarding The Courthouse Access Road?" ..... "Have There Been Any Further Cat Burglar Incidents At The County Collector's Office?" ..... "Pigg Hollow Road - How Is It That So Much Money Was Spent On This One Particular County Road?" ..... "1,000 Hermann Feral Cats - What Are Their Names?" ..... "Chip And Seal County Roads - Is Associate Commissioner Jerry Lairmore Still Proposing The 1/2 Cent Sales Tax Hike?" ..... "State Auditors - What Are They Finding In Their Gasconade County Audit?" ..... "Whatever Became Of The Recommendations Made By The State Auditors In The 2002 and 2006 County Audits?" ..... "Gasconade County Courthouse Renovation and Office Expansion - Is Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost Still Looking For A Plan?" ..... Etc.  Maybe it's easier to publish "fluff" pieces rather than dig for information into the serious and important stories that readers really want to know about?
  2. Editorials about matters of local interest.  I know our local daily online news publishers must surely have opinions, but we rarely see any op-ed pieces published on their websites.  Maybe they are just afraid of pissing off their paid subscribers and/or advertisers?  Here at Hermann Hearsay, we have NO paid subscribers NOR do we have paid advertisers.  We are a FREE site.  Therefore, we are completely FREE to speak our mind.  And if our readers don't like what we have to say, they can just go elsewhere!  We're not interested in winning any popularity contests here in the Hermann area!
  3. Some lifestyle articles or regular columns like:  "Gourmet Food Recipes" ..... "Dating Tips For Old Farts" ..... "Wine Rankings and Wine/Food Pairing Recommendations" ..... "Beer Rankings and Beer/Food Pairing Recommendations" ..... "Best Cigar Lounges In Gasconade County" ..... "Sex Tips For Seniors" ..... Etc.  Do you think I'm asking too much?  It's just that I'm thinking I might be lured into laying down the price of an annual subscription IF I could get authoritative information on a few subjects like these!
Finally, there is one last thing I have to complain about.  And that is the lack of curiosity, penetration, objectivity and balance when reporting on city and county government matters.  I have observed way too much lack of curiosity by our daily online news publishers and reporters when they report on the operations of our city and county governments.  Trust me, there are stories behind the stories.  You know it, and I know it.  Why is it then that our new daily online news reporters stop short of investigating and reporting the real stories behind the stories that some of these government officials would have us accept?  Is it that there is too much pressure to put out quantity rather than quality?  Too much pressure to publish "35 short news articles over a weekend" (and then brag about it) rather than spending the quality time to thoroughly investigate some of the things that really need to be investigated and reported to the public?  Or does their superficial treatment of local government stories result from their feeling that problems and controversies are to be avoided?  Are the reporters and their publishers reluctant to publish the truth and risk alienating the government officals they are covering?  Afterall, if you alienate the people you are covering, you might lose your access to these people.  Best to go along to get along?  But what does the loss of access really matter if it means that you and your daily online news organization are having to positively "spin" the stories you publish about these people so as not to have your access cut off?  Hmmmmm?  The lack of complete objectivity and balance in reporting government news stories is also a problen.  I have observed far too many instances of this over the past two years.  When I have pointed such problems out in the past, my criticism has not been well-received.  As far as I can see, this problem (the lack of objective and balanced reporting) continues.  The problem will likely continue for two reasons:  (1) the public is not pushing these online reporters and publishers to "tighten-up" their loose, sloppy reporting and in many cases is not even aware that their reporting is being spun to make certain government officials look bad while at the same time making others look much better than they actually deserve and (2) certain of these reporters and publishers are just too arrogant to ever accept the criticism of their reporting and publishing that I am expressing.

Yes, the Information Age has come to Hermann.  Information is readily available to us through various media and from various sources.  But we must be careful to think critically and always question the validity, accuracy and completeness of the information we receive.  When reading news articles published in either a traditional printed newspaper or in an online news website, we must always ask ourselves:
  1. Do we trust the reporter and publisher to deliver a fair, objective and balanced accounting of the story?  What are their personal biases and grudges?  Do we know?  Are we sure?
  2. Does the reporter or publisher have any reason to "spin" the story one way or the other?  What do we know about their relationship or lack of relationship with the people they are covering in their news article?
  3. Is there a "bigger" and "more important" story behind the story which has been published for the public's consumption?  If there is, in fact, a "bigger" and "more important" story behind the story, why are the reporter and publisher not telling us that story?  Are they blind to the "bigger" story because they lack sufficient curiosity as a journalist OR are they intentionally hiding the "bigger" story from us?  If they are hiding the "bigger" story from us, why?
So, where do you get your information?  Do you trust the source(s) you use?  Have they earned your trust?  Do you need to be reading all the information they are providing?  Is it worth your valuable time?

The explosion of information and the nearly instantaneous availablity of information in this Information Age can be a blessing or it can be a curse.  Make sure you are getting the information you need from trusted sources.  Ask yourself whether there is a "bigger" and "more important" story behind each story or news article you read.  Understand the fact that every reporter and every publisher has their own unique set of personal values, biases and preconceived notions, and ask yourself whether you are being "spun".

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Friday, March 19, 2010

Insider Information Regarding County Election Filings

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Hermann Hearsay has been contacted by a credible source who has obtained "inside information" regarding the planned late filings by several individuals for county offices. 

This "insider information" was provided to us under certain terms and conditions:

1.  that we wait until today Friday, 3/19/2010, to offer the information to our readers,
2.  that we provide the names of the individuals and offices for which they intend to file only to readers who pay $100 (cash) for the information,
3.  that those who receive the "insider information" promise not to discuss the information until the final day of filing, and
4.  that all funds received in exchange for our "inside information" be donated to the campaign funds of the candidates who challenge incumbents in the upcoming county elections.

We don't make it practice to allow others to dictate our editorial policy.  In this case, however, we have made an exception.  Therefore, if you would like to have this inside information before the final filing date when these candidates are intending to file for office, please contact us at 1-800-HEARSAY.  Your cash payment must be paid to us before we release the list of names, addresses and offices to you.

NOTE:  The list of names that we provide to you may not be a complete list as we cannot guarantee that our "source" (code name:  Cobra 1) has been able to develop complete and perfect intelligence on this subject.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hermann Hearsay Business Stats (Updated thru 3/14/2010)

You can't see the details in this photo, but the number of Business Key Factors and Audience Stats we monitor is staggering!  Managing a leading local news website and a leading local dating website like ours is like being in the cockpit of a Boeing 747.  Fortunately, we take care of all that tedious management work for you, so that all you have to do is read and enjoy our websites.

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief of Hermann Hearsay and Lois Lame, Moderator of Hermann Hookups

# of days online ......... We've completely lost track.  (Does it really matter anyway?)
# of website visitors to date ......... About 456,765 (At least, we think so.  Could be off by +/- 90%.)
Highest # of unique website visitors in one day ......... About 25 (Least ways as close as we can figure.)
# of visitors who've gotten pissed off and left us ......... 1 (Username:  Anonymous.)
# of visitors who fart while reading our websites .......... 3 (We know that Elmer Fudd and Happy Shoveler are two of them.  The other one is still a mystery.)
# of visitors who are unemployed/retired and have nothing better to do than read our stuff .......... 5
Checking account balance .......... $2.98 (Plus $0.90 cash in office coffee fund.)
Outstanding loans from banks, life insurance policies and 401(k) accounts .......... $500.00  (Required to meet payroll for a slow week in January, 2010.)
Capitalization .......... 1 old HP laptop (Approximate value: $100.)

*  The above figures include both Hermann Hearsay and Hermann Hookups websites.  None of the above figures have been audited by an independent accounting firm, so don't hold us to 'em.  Besides it ain't really none of your damned business anyway!  We're a privately owned company, and our shares don't trade on any public stock market.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief, Hermann Hearsay
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/

Lois Lame
Moderator, Hermann Hookups
http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Editorial Comment - Hermann Hearsay Evaluating Future Expansion Plans

Straight From the Horse's Mouth .....
Editorial Comment by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Not too long ago, Hermann Hearsay expanded its operations by offering a new adult dating service to our readers and lonely men and women living in the Hermann area.  This local dating service, http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/,  took off like a space rocket from the get go!  The once lonely participants on Hermann Hookups report that their dating lives and casual sex lives have greatly improved since we launched our service.  The once lonely, it seems, are no longer lonely!

Our absentee owner and our board of directors have been considering further expansion of services for the local area as well as for other small communities in Missouri.  We have carefully evaluated the rapid and aggressive business expansion of our primary competitors.  We are convinced that we will have to get bigger and better in order to successfully compete in the future.  Right now we are dead last in the ratings based upon the findings of a highly regarded independent internet website ranking firm.  While we ain't losing money, neither are we making a helluva lot of it!

Our owner and founder, Truman T. Tiger, wants to expand rapidly into new markets not yet dominated by the "Big Three of Hermann", thus denying any of our primary competitors the prestige and brand awareness advantage resulting from first entry into these markets.  The move into the local dating service was Hermann Hearsay's first move into one such market which had heretofore been virtually ignored by our competitors.  We were first into this market, and now we "own" the market. 

The following list of new market opportunities and registered website domains is currently being considered for our Hermann readers:
In addition to these new specialized Hermann websites, we are also considering moves into the following communities with the website domains we have purchased and registered:
In order to execute our aggressive business expansion plan, we will need a small army of reporters, editors and advertising account representatives.  We don't pay much.  And we don't provide healthcare, life insurance, a 401(k) plan or anything extra.  On the otherhand, it's not too likely that we will fire you at the slightest provocation.  So, if you know anyone who might be interested in coming to work for us, please have them contact me at 1-800-HEARSAY.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Friday, March 12, 2010

Editorial Comment - Gasconade County Website Rankings

An Editorial Comment Straight From the Horse's Mouth .....
Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The following article appeared recently over at CountyNewsLIVE.com .......

INDEPENDENT RESEARCH: CountyNewsLIVE.com is now top-ranked website in Gasconade County

Wed, 03/10/2010 - 09:26 — J. Noedel-Publisher

An independent Internet research company which monitors worldwide web traffic daily now reports that CountyNewsLIVE.com is the #1 most-popular website in Hermann, and in Gasconade County, Missouri. This includes other news sites, chambers of commerce, B&B sites and websites run by corporations and non-profits.

We here at HermannHearsay would like to know the name and email address of that "independent Internet research company" so that we might inquire about our own ranking within Gasconade County.  We wonder how HermanNews.com, GCSoapbox.com, HermannAdvertiserCourier.com and all the many others are doing.  We suspect that our ranking is pretty darned low.  On the otherhand however, we DO know for an absolute certainty that OUR income statement is "in the black" ...... not "bleeding red ink" as we believe is the case with a couple of our "competitors".

For the time being, we'll take our low ranking and bide our time.  We'll let our competitors spend themselves into non-existence by employing large staffs, paying unjustified office lease payments and paying contractors to put up live web cams all over our small town.  Our business consultants and CPA firm project that we will have the online news market all to ourselves within two years.  And this will only serve to drive up our future market value.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Straight From The Horse's Mouth: An Editorial Comment - Candidate Filings For County Offices

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The filing period for five county offices and two state (judicial) offices opened on Tuesday, February 23rd.  CountyNewsLIVE.com recently reported that the following seven incumbents have filed for re-election: 

John B. Berkemeyer for Associate Circuit Judge (a state position), Joyce Gabathuler for Circuit Clerk/Ex-Officio Recorder of Deeds (a state position), and for the five county-level offices: Ron Jost for Presiding Commissioner, Lesa Lietzow for County Clerk, Ada Brehe-Krueger for Prosecuting Attorney, Shawn Schlottach for Collector of Revenue, and Joey R. Gross for County Treasurer.

All seven incumbents filed as Republicans and must first be elected in the August primary election. The winners of the August 2010 primary vote in each office will have to then win the general election in November 2010.

No challengers, Democrat, Republican or Independent, for any of these offices filed on the opening date.  The coffee shop talk however is that several credible individuals are seriously considering runs for one or more of the county offices.

The filing period to run in the Republican and Democrat primaries closes on Tuesday, March 30 at 5:00 p.m. Filing is done at the County Clerk's office in the County Courthouse in Hermann. The filing fee is $50, and each candidate must sign an affadavit swearing that they are in compliance with all laws and that they are current on local taxes.

The editorial board here at HermannHearsay encourages others who may be weighing a run for county office to go ahead and file their candidacies during the open filing period.  It is always good when citizens in a democracy have the broadest possible choice in their elected leaders.  When incumbents run unopposed, citizens are given no choice in their elected leaders.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Yummy Recipes

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter and HermannHookups Moderator

Not to be outdone by our competitors, HermannHearsay has decided to post recipes from time to time.  Today we'd like to call your attention to the recipe website maintained by one of our loyal readers and supporters.  Dick Schaefer, local Watkins Associate, offers some of his best recipes which feature Watkins ingredients at www.RivertownRecipes.blogspot.com.

Today HermannHearsay began negotiations with Matt Penning seeking permission to publish his widely popular German Potato Salad recipe, a great family recipe passed down to him by his grandmother.  This will be a very tough negotiation, because Matt is very protective of his family recipe and he guards the secrets to his recipe very closely.

If you have an especially tasty recipe, we invite you to contact us so that we may share it with our readers here at HermannHearsay.

Lois Lame
Lifestyles Reporter and HermannHookups Moderator
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Classified Ads

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter and Ad Sales

Just a reminder ...... All LOCAL classified ads and display ads are free!  Let us help you sell your unwanted items and advertise your business, the services of which may also be unwanted!

MISCELLANEOUS
  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.  Jake's Literacy Service, P.O. Box 220, Hermann, MO 65041
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.  Andy's Repair Service, Rhineland, MO.
  • Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.  Ima Realfule's Child Care, Hermann, MO.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. A. E. Newman, Bland, MO.  573-225-2582 cell.
  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. AJAX Dynamite Company, Big Springs, MO.
  • 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.  Bearcat Pre-School, Hermann, MO.
  • Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.  Flossy Funderburk, Hermann, MO.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross/Blue Shield and liberal salary.  Maximilian Von Lopithoff, Columbia, MO.
  • Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.  Al's Diner, Gasconade, MO.
  • For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.  Elmer J. Fudd, Hermann, MO.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.  Joe's Tattoos and Piercings, New Haven, MO.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.  Millie's Sewing Service, Hermann, MO.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.  Flossy Funderburk, Hermann, MO.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.  Beula Bowelmovement, Hermann, MO.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.  AAA Pest Control, McKittrick, MO.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.  Dick Schaefer, 573-225-2582.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Hermann Hearsay Now Featuring "Ads by Google"

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

HermannHearsay announced today that it is featuring "Ads by Google".  Since its inception, HermannHearsay has offered free advertising to local advertisers.  We have so much competition for local advertising that we're not even trying to compete in that market.  That's why we have chosen to give our ad space away free to local advertisers.

But we do have expenses just like our competitors.  That's why we've chosen to associate ourselves with "Ads by Google" through their "Ad Sense" service.  It is our hope that ad revenues generated by this association will produce enough income that we can buy a new laptop to replace our 5 year-old H.P. Pavilion dv4000 model and maybe a digital camera.  And if we're lucky, these ad revenues will also allow us to give Jimmy Oldsun and Lois Lame a pay raise from time to time.

Look for "Ads by Google" after each most recently posted article and in the side bar immediately to the right of each most recently posted article.  We invite you to visit the websites of our non-local "Ad Sense" advertisers.  When you do you will be supporting HermannHearsay and making it possible for us to continue publishing articles of local interest.

Please give us your comments about the "Ad Sense" advertisers.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Thursday, February 18, 2010

New Subsidiary, HermannHookups, Goes Online Today!

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

HermannHookups.blogspot.com, a new subsidiary of HermannHearsay.blogspot.com, went online today.  You can access the site by clicking on the following link: 

http://www.HermannHookups.blogspot.com/

For several months now, our loyal readers have been asking that we provide an online dating service to the people of the Hermann area.  Lois Lame, our Lifestyle's Reporter, has taken on the project and will be moderating this separate website for us.

Good luck to Lois in running the new dating site!  And good luck to all the lonely hearts of Hermann in finding a "hookup"!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Feral Cats! A Real Problem Or Much Ado About Nothing?

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

So, where do you stand on the Hermann feral cat issue?  A real problem or much ado about nothing?

I've read all the local news articles and investigative reports as I am sure you have.  By some reports, Hermann has a feral (stray) cat population of somewhere between 500 and 1,000 cats.  Now, that's a lot of pussy cats!

This high number of problem cats is an estimate reported to the media by city officials.  Because I'm not so sure I believe we have this large of a number of so-called "problem" kitties, I have been investigating the problem myself.

I walk through Hermann everyday for exercise.  I walk from the southwest part of town to the northeast part of town nearly everyday.  I walk anywhere from three to six miles per day.  During the past several weeks after the so-called "feral cat" problem was first reported, I began keeping a close accounting of the cats I have observed during my travels afoot.  Some days, I see absolutely NO cats whatsoever.  And some days like today, I see only one or maybe two cats. 

This afternoon while walking westwardly in the two hundred block of Sixth Street, I observed a large calico cat ducking into the storm sewer under the sidewalk.  And that's when it finally dawned on me!  Our 1,000 feral cats are living in the storm sewers!  And that's why I haven't been seeing the large number of cats that have been reported by knowlegable city officials.  Those darned cats are probably hunting rats and mice in the storm sewers and taking shelter from the wintry elements down in the sewers.

If I only knew when Ronnie Van Booven was conducting his feral cat committee meetings, I'd go to the next one and report my personal observations.  I think the city needs to authorize and fund a special expeditionary force to launch an immediate assault upon the feral cats which are living down in our storm sewers.  I have talked to my good friend, Elmer Fudd, and he has agreed to lead such an expeditionary force IF the city fathers will authorize and fund it.  Elmer has told me that he is quite confident he could rid the City of Hermann of its feral cat population in no time at all.  The city need only reimburse Mr. Fudd for the shotgun shells and smoke bombs he will use to exterminate the problematic cats!

So, if anyone can please tell me where and when Ronnie Van Booven is holding his secret feral cat committee meetings,  I will report my findings to him.  I've inquired with the Hemann Advertiser-Courier and HermannNews.com where and when these secret meetings are being conducted.  Neither crack investigative news organization has been able to find out where and when the meetings are being conducted!  Does anyone know?  CountyNewsLIVE.com staff?

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Friday, January 29, 2010

Thanks to all our loyal readers!



Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk and Sports Reporter

Clark has asked me to thank all our loyal readers on his behalf this weekend.  I don't know if our readers appreciate it or not, but we are in a highly competitive business.  God only knows how hard it is to get ahead of all the other local online daily news websites on a consistent basis.  Sometimes we succeed, but too often they beat us to the story.  But throughout it all, our ups and our downs and through thick and thin, you have stayed with us.  

I've gone back thru the records and assembled a list of all of our readers and active commenters.  You see, here at HermannHearsay, you are not a just number.  You are not merely a statistic that we use to promote our website by crowing about the growth in our readership.  No, to us, you are real people, our friends and our neighbors.  And we want to acknowledge your loyal readership and patronage by saying "Thank You!" to each and everyone of you.

Thanks very much to .....
  1. A. E. Newman
  2. Beula Bowelmovement
  3. Chester Goode
  4. Clem Kadiddlehopper
  5. Cletus Clawhammer
  6. Clyde Kadiddlehopper
  7. Daffy G. Duck
  8. Dan Dunderhead
  9. Dick Schaefer
  10. Ellie Mae Clampitt
  11. Elmer J. Fudd
  12. Elmer Hugz
  13. Festus Haggen
  14. Flossy Funderburk
  15. Frank Furter
  16. Fritz Filibuster
  17. Gabby Hayes
  18. Gary Pinkel
  19. Gertrude Schenkelburg
  20. Henrietta Hornschwagel
  21. Herbie Hambuerger
  22. Ima Realfule
  23. Jeffrey Needle
  24. Jethro Bodine
  25. John Doe
  26. Marilyn Johnson
  27. Norm Stewart
  28. Reuben B. Sandwich
  29. Richard "Dick" Smoker
  30. Rupert Murdoch
If I've inadvertently failed to list your name, I apologize profusely.  Just call me, email me or catch me at a local coffee shop , and I will correct our records immediately.

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk and Sports Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Weekend Coverage

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

I'll be spending the weekend out of town.  In my absence, Jimmy Oldsun and Lois Lame will be covering for me. My thanks to them for allowing me to get away for a little rest and relaxation!

If you have new information about the feral cat problem in Hermann, the horse abuse problem in Rosebud or the upcoming CCAM rally at the capitol building rotunda in Jefferson City, please contact Jimmy.  If you have any questions about Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer recipe or any questions about nightlife in Hermann, just call Lois.

See you all on Monday!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer (Sour Rabbit Stew)

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter

Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer (Sour Rabbit Stew)

The original German rabbit stew recipe passed down from Elmer Fudd's grandmother, Minna Fudd, who immigrated to the USA in 1924. This is a lot of work to make but well worth it. It is an acquired taste dish; once hooked, you can't get enough. Serve with fresh mashed potatoes and celery sticks. Use the stock as gravy for mashed potatoes. Always tastes better as leftovers.  Elmer hopes you and your family will enjoy this dish over and over again!  Call Elmer at 1-800-WABBIT for fresh rabbit meat.

What to drink with this dish?   The wine pairing Elmer recommends is red zinfandel (Also very good to drink while skinning the rabbit, cooking the rabbit, eating the rabbit and watching a football game after your rabbit dinner.  Note:  Elmer says .... "If you can't get red zinfandel wine, Milwaukee's Best Light beer will do in a pinch!")

Prep Time:  1 Hr

Cook Time:  1 Hr 15 Min

Ready In:  2 Hrs 15 Min

Original Recipe Yield:  5 servings

Ingredients

2 3/4 cups red wine vinegar
3 cups water
1 1/2 tablespoons white sugar
8 whole cloves
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
5 stalks celery, chopped
1 lemon, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon Watkins ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
3 large bay leaves
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon pickling spice
1 teaspoon Watkins granulated black pepper
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 (2 1/2 pound) rabbit, cleaned and cut into pieces
3 tablespoons vegetable oil

Directions

  1. In a large pot, combine the water, white sugar, whole cloves, onion, celery, lemon, cinnamon, ground cloves, salt, pickling spice and black pepper. Bring to a boil, then turn off and allow to cool. Place the rabbit pieces into the mixture to marinate. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
  2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Spread flour out onto a parchment or aluminum foil lined baking sheet. Bake for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the flour is a light brown color.
  3. Remove the rabbit from the marinade and pat dry. Strain the marinade, and discard the solids. Reserve the liquid for later.
  4. Heat the oil in a deep skillet or Dutch oven over medium heat. Coat the chicken with the toasted flour. Place into the hot oil, and cook until browned on both sides. Remove from the pan, and set aside. If there is oil left in the pan, sprinkle enough of the toasted flour over it to absorb the liquid.
  5. In a jar with a lid, mix 1/2 cup of the marinade with 1/4 cup of the remaining toasted flour. Close the lid, and shake vigorously until well blended with no lumps. Heat the pan with the rabbit drippings over low heat. Gradually stir in the marinade mixture, stirring constantly until slightly thickened.
  6. Return the rabbit pieces to the pan. Cover and simmer over low heat for 1 hour, or until the meat is falling off of the bones. You may remove the bones prior to serving if desired.
Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 536
Total Fat: 20.7g
Cholesterol: 122mg

Lois Lame
Lifestyles Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

From The Night Desk - Elmer Fudd Aced-Out By Show-Me Predator of Washington, MO

Report filed by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

The Hermann Board of Aldermen met tonight at the Municipal Building.  Elmer J. Fudd, well-known local wabbit and varmint ewadicator and owner of Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew Catering Service, was aced-out by Show-Me Predator of Washington, MO on the bid for the Hermann feral cat elimination contract.  Looks like we're gonna be givin' away more of our local tax money to an outsider firm for, of all things, pussy cat eradication. 

After the announcement at the city meeting, I immediately contacted Elmer by phone.  Elmer was skinnin' rabbits, but he stopped just long enough to answer a few of my questions:

J. Oldsun:  "Elmer, have you heard that you lost the contract for feral cat elimination?"

E. Fudd:  "I ain't a bit suwpwised, Jimmy!  Dose boys ovew at the city office don't undewstand dat shootin' cats is a whole lot like shootin' wabbits."

J. Oldsun:  "Show-Me Predator from Washington, MO was awarded the contract."

E. Fudd:  "Dose boys fwom Washington got a thing or two to learn about dese local stway pussy cats, Jimmy!"

J. Oldsun:  "Oh!  Is that right, Elmer.  Do you think you know more than they do about stray pussy cats?"

E. Fudd:  "Yep, Jimmy!  In addition to dose wascally wabbits, I've been a huntin' stway pussy cats all my life!"

J. Oldsun:  "Well thanks for the exclusive interview, Elmer!  I'll let you get back to skinnin' your rabbits now!  Good night!"

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

County Commissioners To Descend Upon The State Capitol Building

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The County Commissioners Association of Missouri (CCAM) has requested that we publish the following press release dated January 27. 2010.




COUNTY COMMISSIONERS TO DESCEND ON THE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING CITING AN UNFAIR PARTNERSHIP

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Jefferson City, Missouri, Jan.27, 2010 – The County Commissioners Association of Missouri (CCAM) is very disappointed that the “Restore The Partnership” campaign with the State of Missouri appears to be a one-sided affair promoted by the counties.  “The campaign certainly does not seem to be a joint effort with state government when the state continues to balance its budget on the backs of the counties,” says CCAM President and Iron County Presiding Commissioner Terry Nichols. “How can we ‘Restore The Partnership’ while the state continues to increase unfunded mandates, erode local control and the local tax base, and prevent the counties from upgrading 9-1-1 emergency services – to name a few critical issues facing county government?”

Hoping not to incite any ill will, but rather to engage in productive dialogue, 330 county commissioners will descend on the State Capitol Building on Thursday, Feb. 4, to hold a rally in the 1st floor Rotunda at 9:30 a.m. The commissioners are doing this in conjunction with their 27th Annual Training Session at the Capital Plaza Hotel in Jefferson City.

Of prime concern to the commissioners is that counties be “held harmless” this session.  “County government isn’t a high-profile news story,” says Nichols. “We don’t get the same play in the press as education, health care, or other issues. The public’s perception is that county governments simply collect taxes. But people should know that what we do touches so many aspects of their lives.

“People should understand that counties have major law enforcement responsibilities, which involve the sheriffs’ departments in jail operations, emergency management, and homeland security procedures.

“They should know that counties are responsible for one of the largest off-system (non-state) road and bridge networks in the nation, with over 73,000 miles of roads and almost 14,000 bridges, and that counties are responsible for property tax assessment, tax collection and distribution of funds to schools,
cities, and other political subdivisions, as well as being charged with conducting all state and local elections.

“And it should be noted that counties contribute significantly to the daily operation of the state court system, including local prosecution of state crimes, juvenile care and detention, public defender obligations, and the incarceration of state prisoners,” argues Nichols.

“But, it is usually only during times of emergency situations such as when an ice storm or a flood occurs that people turn to us, the heads of the government that is closest to them. We are the ones they see every day in their grocery stores, at their gas stations, and on the streets of their hometowns. And, we are the ones who suffer along with them when the state cuts our funding or passes along an unfunded mandate.”

While appreciating the gravity of the state's financial situation, the point is that enough money is simply not coming through the appropriations process and counties are struggling statewide.

What other alternatives are there, ask county commissioners? Some are even wondering if they can just simply refuse to house state prisoners in county jails or if they should campaign ferociously against any ballot measure that negatively impacts the local tax base.

President Nichols hopes for another alternative: that the legislators will listen to the commissioners’ plea when they march to the Capitol, and that Governor Nixon, as well as the House and Senate leadership, will be more receptive this session to building a partnership with their counties – a very essential “arm of state government.”
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HermannHearsay caught up with Gasconade County Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning at his home in Hermann this evening.  When asked to comment on this press release from CCAM, Mr. Penning told us ... "I support what the CCAM is trying to do 100%!  If the State of Missouri wants to hand down mandates to the counties, then they should give us the money to fund these mandates.  Instead they force us to raise money from county taxpayers to pay for the programs which they mandate.  Something has to be done!" 
 
HermannHearsay attempted to contact Southern District Commissioner Jerry Lairmore and Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost for their comments, but we were unable to reach them prior to the publishing deadline for this story.
 
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Dead And Starving Horses Near Rosebud


Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

From the KSDK website, http://www.ksdk.com/ ......

KSDK -- The Gasconade County Sheriff's Department and Humane Society of Missouri Animal Cruelty Task Force rescued 13 horses in poor condition from a property near Rosebud, Missouri on Tuesday.

The horses appeared to be severely underweight had no access to fresh water, according to a Humane Society spokesperson. Twelve dead horses were also found on the property.

The sheriff's department received an anonymous phone call on Monday informing them of the dead horses. A warrant was obtained on Tuesday allowing authorities to remove the animals from the property.

The rescued horses will be brought to the Humane Society of Missouri's Longmeadow Rescue Ranch in Union, Missouri. They will remain there until a disposition hearing on February 10. If the HSMO is granted custody of the horses, as many of them as possible will go up for adoption.

Rosebud, Missouri is located approximately 70 miles southwest of St. Louis.  Rosebud is in the Southern District of Gasconade County near Owensville.

For more information on the Humane Society of Missouri or to make a donation, visit http://www.hsmo.org or call 314-951-1542. To report animal abuse to the HSMO, dial 314-647-4400.

Picture submitted via camera phone by NewsChannel 5 photo journalist Tony Chambers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy's comments ...... This is absolutely disgusting!  I heard about this in the coffee shop early this morning!  Folks, if you can't properly care for your pets and animals, then give them up!  Find someone who can and will!  We will be running a follow-up story on the Rosebud horses just as soon as I can get down there and investigate!  I'm sure that HermannAdvertiserCourier.com, CountyNewsLIVE.com and HermannNews.com are all way ahead of me on this BREAKING NEWS!  Go to their websites for up to the minute reporting.

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Site Overload


Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

New visitor hits and reader comments are combining to slow down the site.  We cannot keep up moderating our many comments.  Please be patient and bear with us as we work to upgrade our system!  We have never before seen such huge visitor and comment traffic!

Our technical staff believes we can complete the needed upgrades to our system by Friday of this coming week.  Hopefully we can keep things patched together and avoid a website crash during the next five days!

We thank you for your patience and understanding!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Readership Exploding After Mention In CountyNewsLIVE.com

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

On the heels of a very much appreciated favorable mention in the Entertainment Section of the well-known local daily news site CountyNewsLIVE.com, we are finding that the number of hits and the readership on our small website has been increasing by leaps and bounds.  If our website is taken down by this unanticipated explosion in readership, please be patient with us.

Though this sudden increase in traffic is causing us "growing pains" and exposing some infrastructure problems, we nevertheless thank Jeff Noedel over at CountyNewsLIVE.com on 5th Street for mentioning us in his January 23rd article.

I will be sending Jimmy Oldsun into St. Louis tomorrow to see if he can pick up some additional used servers at a good (read cheap) price.  Our owner, Mr. Tiger, is a penny-pincher, and he won't allow us to call in IBM or Hewlett-Packard to install new equipment.  We will do the best that we can under the circumstances.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com