So, where do you stand on the Hermann feral cat issue? A real problem or much ado about nothing?
I've read all the local news articles and investigative reports as I am sure you have. By some reports, Hermann has a feral (stray) cat population of somewhere between 500 and 1,000 cats. Now, that's a lot of pussy cats!
This high number of problem cats is an estimate reported to the media by city officials. Because I'm not so sure I believe we have this large of a number of so-called "problem" kitties, I have been investigating the problem myself.
I walk through Hermann everyday for exercise. I walk from the southwest part of town to the northeast part of town nearly everyday. I walk anywhere from three to six miles per day. During the past several weeks after the so-called "feral cat" problem was first reported, I began keeping a close accounting of the cats I have observed during my travels afoot. Some days, I see absolutely NO cats whatsoever. And some days like today, I see only one or maybe two cats.
This afternoon while walking westwardly in the two hundred block of Sixth Street, I observed a large calico cat ducking into the storm sewer under the sidewalk. And that's when it finally dawned on me! Our 1,000 feral cats are living in the storm sewers! And that's why I haven't been seeing the large number of cats that have been reported by knowlegable city officials. Those darned cats are probably hunting rats and mice in the storm sewers and taking shelter from the wintry elements down in the sewers.
If I only knew when Ronnie Van Booven was conducting his feral cat committee meetings, I'd go to the next one and report my personal observations. I think the city needs to authorize and fund a special expeditionary force to launch an immediate assault upon the feral cats which are living down in our storm sewers. I have talked to my good friend, Elmer Fudd, and he has agreed to lead such an expeditionary force IF the city fathers will authorize and fund it. Elmer has told me that he is quite confident he could rid the City of Hermann of its feral cat population in no time at all. The city need only reimburse Mr. Fudd for the shotgun shells and smoke bombs he will use to exterminate the problematic cats!
So, if anyone can please tell me where and when Ronnie Van Booven is holding his secret feral cat committee meetings, I will report my findings to him. I've inquired with the Hemann Advertiser-Courier and HermannNews.com where and when these secret meetings are being conducted. Neither crack investigative news organization has been able to find out where and when the meetings are being conducted! Does anyone know? CountyNewsLIVE.com staff?
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
A committee of concerned citizens is meeting tomorrow at 3:00 PM inside the Herman City Hall. We are planning to trap, spay/neuter, and release the feral cats. The program works well in Columbia, Mo. and St. Charles. The meeting date is February 17 with Ron Van Booven as our leader. We met last Friday and will finalize plans before the next city meting. I doubt we have 500 cats with a population of 2,700 people.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I support your plan to trap, spay/neuter, and release those poor feral cats! It's the only humane thing to do!
ReplyDeleteClark, I can't believe you and Elmer would even consider extermination of the feral cats as an option! Has Elmer run out of rabbits to shoot?!
Ima,
ReplyDeleteAll dose wascally wabbits have jumped into dere wabbit holes in dis cold weather! So, I'm available to smoke out and shoot dose pwoblematic fewal cats! My solution to de pwoblem is a lot cheaper dan twappin', spay/neutewing and releasin' dose nasty ol' fewal cats!
Elmer
If Elmer gets hired by the City to exterminate the feral cats, I want to join his
ReplyDelete"expeditionary force". I have my own shotgun.
Richard Smoker
Clark,
ReplyDeleteI don't care what you do with your cats up there in Hermann! Just don't trap 'em and haul 'em all down here to Bland!
Alfred
I ain't seen one stray pussy cat out here where I live!
ReplyDeleteJethro
Tell Elmer that I'll help out if he has to chase those feral cats through the storm sewer system. I used to work in Brooklyn's City Sanitation Department and I know a lot about sewers!
ReplyDeleteEd Norton
Clark,
ReplyDeleteNorton doesn't know jack about anything! Tell Elmer to beware!
Ralph Cramden
I'm all for rescuing the feral cats, Clark! Save the poor pussy cats!
ReplyDeleteBeula Bowelmovement
Catch 'em and haul 'em down to Owensville!
ReplyDeleteElmer
Take the money we'd otherwise spend on these stray cats and send it on down to the people of Haiti!
ReplyDeleteCletus
What cat problem?!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHenrietta
Clark,
ReplyDeleteI've got 16 grandkids. Tell the City of Hermann, I'll adopt 16 feral cats for my grandkids IF the City will only:
1. spay/neuter each cat,
2. vaccinate each cat against rabies and all the other crap that cats get vaccinated for,
3. provide a new litter box and a year's supply of cat food for each cat, and
4. pay to have the cats shipped out to the addresses which I will provide.
Thanks!
Flossy
Don't see what all the fuss is about, Clark!
ReplyDeleteGabby
For those who are interested in following the formation of Hermann's new cat ordinance, you may click on the following link:
ReplyDeletehttp://countynewslive.com/content/2010/feb/18/cat-scratch-fever-van-booven-cat-law-committee-recommend-rabies-shot-requirement
CountyNewsLIVE.com is following the "Cat Story" very closely. Jeff Noedel, owner of CountyNewsLIVE.com, personally attended Wednesday's meeting at City Hall. I haven't seen an article at HermannNews.com, so I don't know if they are following this story closely or not.
Jimmy, Lois and I were all up in Columbia yesterday afternoon partying at Harpo's and attending the Mizzou vs. Texas later in the evening. The Missouri Tigers beat the #17 Texas Longhorns by 5 points. Tigers are the only cats we really care about!
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
Clark,
ReplyDeleteWhen the City of Hermann completes this very important piece of work, I think we need to tackle the problem of the growing population of cursing wild parrots! One of those little bastards, cussed me out yesterday while I was walking along Mozart Street near Frene Creek!
Herbie
Personally I don't think there is a cat problem in Hermann. I have two expensive purebred Persian cats and they had better not be caught in one of the City's traps. I breed cats and sell the kittens, so my cats, Josephine and Joshua, had better NOT be spayed/neutered by the City! If they are, there will be hell to pay!
ReplyDeleteGertrude
During my walk through Hermann today, I observed only one cat. This cat was the same one I observed crawling into the storm sewer just yesterday. Today this same cat was sunning him(her)self on the front porch at 215 West Sixth Street.
ReplyDeleteI just fail to see that Hermann has a cat problem!
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
Meoooooow!
ReplyDeleteSylvester
Tweetie Bird is always complainin' about us cats!
ReplyDeletePuddy Tat
Man, this is flat out ridiculous!
ReplyDeleteGarfield