Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Editorial Comment - Hermann Hearsay Evaluating Future Expansion Plans

Straight From the Horse's Mouth .....
Editorial Comment by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Not too long ago, Hermann Hearsay expanded its operations by offering a new adult dating service to our readers and lonely men and women living in the Hermann area.  This local dating service, http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/,  took off like a space rocket from the get go!  The once lonely participants on Hermann Hookups report that their dating lives and casual sex lives have greatly improved since we launched our service.  The once lonely, it seems, are no longer lonely!

Our absentee owner and our board of directors have been considering further expansion of services for the local area as well as for other small communities in Missouri.  We have carefully evaluated the rapid and aggressive business expansion of our primary competitors.  We are convinced that we will have to get bigger and better in order to successfully compete in the future.  Right now we are dead last in the ratings based upon the findings of a highly regarded independent internet website ranking firm.  While we ain't losing money, neither are we making a helluva lot of it!

Our owner and founder, Truman T. Tiger, wants to expand rapidly into new markets not yet dominated by the "Big Three of Hermann", thus denying any of our primary competitors the prestige and brand awareness advantage resulting from first entry into these markets.  The move into the local dating service was Hermann Hearsay's first move into one such market which had heretofore been virtually ignored by our competitors.  We were first into this market, and now we "own" the market. 

The following list of new market opportunities and registered website domains is currently being considered for our Hermann readers:
In addition to these new specialized Hermann websites, we are also considering moves into the following communities with the website domains we have purchased and registered:
In order to execute our aggressive business expansion plan, we will need a small army of reporters, editors and advertising account representatives.  We don't pay much.  And we don't provide healthcare, life insurance, a 401(k) plan or anything extra.  On the otherhand, it's not too likely that we will fire you at the slightest provocation.  So, if you know anyone who might be interested in coming to work for us, please have them contact me at 1-800-HEARSAY.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

1 comment:

  1. Pretty ambitious plans, Clark! Let me know if you want me to write a column on wabbit hunting!

    Elmer

    ReplyDelete