Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Please accept our apologies .........

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Please accept our humble apologies for anything we may have done that you don't like.  Please also accept our apologies for all the things you'd like for us to do that we haven't done.

We've heard your whining feedback:
  1. We aren't covering a lot of stories like the other online news sites are doing.
  2. We aren't introducing some of the new, whiz-bang technologies with our news coverage like our competitors.
  3. We aren't chasing the waling sirens of ambulances or the flashing lights of fire trucks and police cars to cover all the exciting action of the night in and around Hermann. 
  4. We aren't doing cool live audio and video news broadcasts like our competitors.
  5. We don't require our commenters to use their real names like other websites do.
  6. We don't have live webcams so you can keep your eye on Hermann happenings.
  7. We don't have forums where you can bitch and complain.
All I can say to you is that we apologize profusely.  On the otherhand, we ain't gonna change a doggone thing!

Our service is free.  We ain't makin' much money doing this thankless job.  My staff, Jimmy Oldsun and Lois Lame, are both about to quit on me.  You see, we don't pay them very much, and we work them pretty hard.  So, if you think you can run a better online daily news service on a tight budget like I have, go right ahead!  Be my guest!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/

11 comments:

  1. I always say, "If it ain't broke don't fix it". Clark, you may be broke ($$$$) but HermannHearsay ain't. So don't go messin' with it.

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  2. Kinda prickly today, aren't we, Clark?

    Les Nessman

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  3. Awwww blow it out of your whazoo, Clark!!!

    Johnny Fever
    Cincinnati, OH

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  4. I think you need to lighten up, Clark!

    Maxwell Smart

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  5. Gertrude SchenkelburgApril 7, 2010 at 6:26 PM

    I think you need a couple webcams, Clark. How about one on Wharf Street so we can see the trains passing through downtown. Another webcam could be mounted on the lift station down on Mozart Street. We could watch Frene Creek flooding over the street. Both webcams would be really cool!

    Gertrude

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  6. To Barb Wire:

    True, Barb, I am broke! The owner barely pays me enough for three squares and cot. But hey! At least I'm workin'!

    Clark

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  7. You forgot to add one other thing you are not: A News Organization. You provide fake news from fake people. You mix in a few facts here and there just to make things confusing. You don't provide a service of any kind. You're not funny, nor are you a journalist. I'm really not sure of the point of your site, or what you are trying to accomplish by making up all these online personalities. If you want to be like the Onion News, or Mad Magazine, you should say so. If you want to be more like the Hermann A-C, which you seem to adore to an unhealthy degree, you should actually do some reporting instead of copying the few news facts you post. In fact, this whole site has a mental imbalance tone to it. I hope you are taking your medication.

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  8. Dear "Anonymous",

    Thanks very much for your pithy comments! Jimmy, Lois and I can use your blunt criticism to improve our operations here at HH. Were it not for concerned readers like you who give us thoughtful and helpful input, we would be isolated within our journalistic cocoon and never improve.

    You are right that we are not a LARGE news organization. Afterall, we have only three employees (me included). And we are not paid very much at all. But that's not an excuse. We can always do better!

    We do admire The Hermann Advertiser-Courier. You are very perceptive!

    The A-C has been in business for over 100 years. They are profitable and have never had to run a "subscriber telethon" or bake sale in order to raise money. They deliver the weekly news consistently on Wednesday every week. They have a great Classified Ad section and lots of display ads too. I really enjoy reading their "Remember When" column. Brings back memories. The A-C can ramp up to print more newspapers when their subscription volume soars. Some of the local online news services around these parts crash when they get
    "overloaded". And it usually happens at the most inopportune times. I like the feel of a real newspaper in my hands. I can read it in the barber shop or coffee shop, and I can easily take it with me wherever I go. No need to drag my laptop into one of those free Wi-Fi internet places. If I want to read The A-C online, I can do that too! I just love The Hermann Advertiser-Courier!

    Regarding your comment about "mental imbalance tone", now friend, I thought that was completely unnecessary. But what the heck! Maybe you were having a bad day! I'll let that comment pass.

    I do thank you for your concerns about my medications. For your information, since you are so concerned about me, I don't take prescription drugs; I don't really believe in putting things into my mouth that aren't natural and chemical free. I drink an ultra-premium liquid nutritional supplement everyday, watch my diet and exercise daily. That program seems to work for me. Daily walking helps to reduce my stress. (Being an Editor In Chief of a daily online news service is stressful work.)

    If you want to do something about your anger management problem, give me a call. I can make a few helpful suggestions.

    Well, I've got to get going. Meetings, editoral reviews, deadlines, subscriber services, advertising, etc. So much to do!

    You take care! And please come back to visit us again!

    Clark Kant
    Editor In Chief
    www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com

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  9. I agree with Anonymous #1. What kind of half-assed online news service are you running? It takes a lot of education, training, experience,
    talent and capital to run an online news service. You've got to buy a laptop computer, a digital camera, a microphone and a few webcams! Oh, and a police scanner too!

    Why don't you drop out of the business? Leave it to the professionals!

    Anonymous #2

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  10. Don't forgot a video cam. Then you can become a star like Alex Chelsea.

    By the way, her photo is no long on the CNL site. What's with that. Maybe they can't afford to pay her since they only got 22 new subscribers from their fundraiser telethon/bore-a-thon.

    Hey Anan #1. Lighten up. Hermann can use a little humor and Clark, Jimmy and Lois put a smile on my face daily!

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  11. Dear "Violet",

    We are happy that we can put a smile on your face. It is very kind of you to take the time out of your busy day to read our little website and encourage us with a comment!

    I will make sure that Jimmy and Lois get your feedback. They will appreciate it very much, as do I.

    All the best my friend,

    Clark

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