Monday, October 18, 2010

A. E. Newman Denies Vicious Rumor



Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer; Amateur Investigative Reporter; and Aspiring Photo-Journalist

Date:  10/18/2010
Post:  918

Speaking today before the Bland Rotary Club at their weekly luncheon, A. E. Newman denied a vicious rumor which has been circulating for the past several weeks.  Newman, an Independent candidate for the office of Southern District Associate Commissioner of Gasconade County, denied the rumor that his 19 year-old son, A. A. Newman, is in fact not his own offspring but that of a traveling Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman.

Quoting Newman .... "Albert Alfred Newman is my natural-born son.  The rumor about the traveling Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman is absurd and it is very hurtful to my family.  I don't know who started this rumor, but I wish they would stop smearing me and my family.  Anyone can tell by just looking at these photographs that we are obviously father and son."

A. E. Newman then proceded to unveil two large photographs, the first of himself and the second of his son Albert Alfred.  See below .....

A. E. Newman
Candidate for Southern District Associate Commissioner
Bland, MO

A. A. Newman
Mizzou Freshman, Major: Nuclear Physics
Columbia, MO

Newman continued on by saying ..... "My friends, the resemblance between Albert Alfred and myself IS UNDENIABLE!  A. A. Newman is obviously my son.  The vicious rumor that he is not my son is absolutely FALSE!"


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