Night Desk Report - Tuesday Night

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter (and other cool stuff)

I'm parked out here at the Hermann Post Office interviewing lots of late income tax filers from Hermann.  Here are some sample comments thus far:

Income Tax Late Filer #1:

Jimmy Oldsun:  "My name is Jimmy Oldsun.  I see you're mailing something.  Are those your income tax returns?
Barry Schmelly:  "Get the hell out of my way, punk!  I'm not in a very good mood!"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "I presume that means you're having to pay in instead of getting a refund?"
Barry Schmelly:  "F&^* you!  Get the hell out of my may!

Income Tax Late Filer #2:

Jimmy Oldsun:  "Hello there.!  I was wondering if you'd mind answering a few questions?  My name is ...."
Charlie Farquharson:  "Are you with the IRS?"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "No sir, I'm with Hermann Hearsay!  My name is Jimmy."
Charlie Farquharson:  "You sure do look like one of them IRS agents!"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "I swear that I'm not with the Internal Revenue Service!"
Charlie Farquharson:  "How can I help you then?"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "I was just wondering why you procrastinated until just two nights before the filing deadline to mail in your return?"
Charlie Farquharson:  "Jimmy, you can just kiss my red, white and blue ass!  Get the hell out of my way!"

Income Tax Late Filer #3:

Jimmy Oldsun:  "Good evening, sir!   My name is Jimmy Oldsun."
Al Capone:  "Oh yeah?  Do I know you?  My name is Al Capone."
Jimmy Oldsun:  "No, I don't think so.  I'm with Hermann Hearsay!"
Al Capone:  "Is that a new speakeasy?"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "Not exactly.  It's more like an online news service."
Al Capone:  "Is that a video camera your buddy has there?  Get that damn thing, Frankie!"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "What are you guys doing?  That's an expensive camera!"
Al Capone:  "Sorry Jimmy!  I can't permit my picture to be taken!"
Jimmy Oldsun:  "Just let me ask you a few questions about filing your income tax returns two nights before the filing deadline."
Al Capone:  "Taxes?!  What the hell are you talking about?  I don't pay taxes!  Never have!  That's for stupid suckers like you, Jimmy!"

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Report (and other cool stuff)
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

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http://www.bergerbaloneywithmayo.blogspot.com/

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