Thanks to all our loyal readers!

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk and Sports Reporter

Clark has asked me to thank all our loyal readers on his behalf this weekend.  I don't know if our readers appreciate it or not, but we are in a highly competitive business.  God only knows how hard it is to get ahead of all the other local online daily news websites on a consistent basis.  Sometimes we succeed, but too often they beat us to the story.  But throughout it all, our ups and our downs and through thick and thin, you have stayed with us.  

I've gone back thru the records and assembled a list of all of our readers and active commenters.  You see, here at HermannHearsay, you are not a just number.  You are not merely a statistic that we use to promote our website by crowing about the growth in our readership.  No, to us, you are real people, our friends and our neighbors.  And we want to acknowledge your loyal readership and patronage by saying "Thank You!" to each and everyone of you.

Thanks very much to .....

1. A. E. Newman
2. Beula Bowelmovement
3. Chester Goode
4. Clem Kadiddlehopper
5. Cletus Clawhammer
6. Clyde Kadiddlehopper
7. Daffy G. Duck
8. Dan Dunderhead
9. Dick Schaefer
10. Ellie Mae Clampitt
11. Elmer J. Fudd
12. Elmer Hugz
13. Festus Haggen
14. Flossy Funderburk
15. Frank Furter
16. Fritz Filibuster
17. Gabby Hayes
18. Gary Pinkel
19. Gertrude Schenkelburg
20. Henrietta Hornschwagel
21. Herbie Hambuerger
22. Ima Realfule
23. Jeffrey Needle
24. Jethro Bodine
25. John Doe
26. Marilyn Johnson
27. Norm Stewart
28. Reuben B. Sandwich
29. Richard "Dick" Smoker
30. Rupert Murdoch

If I've inadvertently failed to list your name, I apologize profusely.  Just call me, email me or catch me at a local coffee shop , and I will correct our records immediately.

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk and Sports Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Weekend Coverage

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

I'll be spending the weekend out of town.  In my absence, Jimmy Oldsun and Lois Lame will be covering for me. My thanks to them for allowing me to get away for a little rest and relaxation!

If you have new information about the feral cat problem in Hermann, the horse abuse problem in Rosebud or the upcoming CCAM rally at the capitol building rotunda in Jefferson City, please contact Jimmy.  If you have any questions about Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer recipe or any questions about nightlife in Hermann, just call Lois.

See you all on Monday!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer (Sour Rabbit Stew)

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter

Elmer Fudd's Hasenpfeffer (Sour Rabbit Stew)

The original German rabbit stew recipe passed down from Elmer Fudd's grandmother, Minna Fudd, who immigrated to the USA in 1924. This is a lot of work to make but well worth it. It is an acquired taste dish; once hooked, you can't get enough. Serve with fresh mashed potatoes and celery sticks. Use the stock as gravy for mashed potatoes. Always tastes better as leftovers.  Elmer hopes you and your family will enjoy this dish over and over again!  Call Elmer at 1-800-WABBIT for fresh rabbit meat.

What to drink with this dish?   The wine pairing Elmer recommends is red zinfandel (Also very good to drink while skinning the rabbit, cooking the rabbit, eating the rabbit and watching a football game after your rabbit dinner.  Note:  Elmer says .... "If you can't get red zinfandel wine, Milwaukee's Best Light beer will do in a pinch!")

Prep Time:  1 Hr

Cook Time:  1 Hr 15 Min

Ready In:  2 Hrs 15 Min

Original Recipe Yield:  5 servings

Ingredients

2 3/4 cups red wine vinegar
3 cups water
1 1/2 tablespoons white sugar
8 whole cloves
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
5 stalks celery, chopped
1 lemon, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon Watkins ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
3 large bay leaves
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon pickling spice
1 teaspoon Watkins granulated black pepper
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 (2 1/2 pound) rabbit, cleaned and cut into pieces
3 tablespoons vegetable oil

Directions

1. In a large pot, combine the water, white sugar, whole cloves, onion, celery, lemon, cinnamon, ground cloves, salt, pickling spice and black pepper. Bring to a boil, then turn off and allow to cool. Place the rabbit pieces into the mixture to marinate. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Spread flour out onto a parchment or aluminum foil lined baking sheet. Bake for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the flour is a light brown color.
3. Remove the rabbit from the marinade and pat dry. Strain the marinade, and discard the solids. Reserve the liquid for later.
4. Heat the oil in a deep skillet or Dutch oven over medium heat. Coat the chicken with the toasted flour. Place into the hot oil, and cook until browned on both sides. Remove from the pan, and set aside. If there is oil left in the pan, sprinkle enough of the toasted flour over it to absorb the liquid.
5. In a jar with a lid, mix 1/2 cup of the marinade with 1/4 cup of the remaining toasted flour. Close the lid, and shake vigorously until well blended with no lumps. Heat the pan with the rabbit drippings over low heat. Gradually stir in the marinade mixture, stirring constantly until slightly thickened.
6. Return the rabbit pieces to the pan. Cover and simmer over low heat for 1 hour, or until the meat is falling off of the bones. You may remove the bones prior to serving if desired.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 536
Total Fat: 20.7g
Cholesterol: 122mg

Lois Lame
Lifestyles Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

From The Night Desk - Elmer Fudd Aced-Out By Show-Me Predator of Washington, MO

Report filed by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

The Hermann Board of Aldermen met tonight at the Municipal Building.  Elmer J. Fudd, well-known local wabbit and varmint ewadicator and owner of Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew Catering Service, was aced-out by Show-Me Predator of Washington, MO on the bid for the Hermann feral cat elimination contract.  Looks like we're gonna be givin' away more of our local tax money to an outsider firm for, of all things, pussy cat eradication. 

After the announcement at the city meeting, I immediately contacted Elmer by phone.  Elmer was skinnin' rabbits, but he stopped just long enough to answer a few of my questions:

J. Oldsun:  "Elmer, have you heard that you lost the contract for feral cat elimination?"

E. Fudd:  "I ain't a bit suwpwised, Jimmy!  Dose boys ovew at the city office don't undewstand dat shootin' cats is a whole lot like shootin' wabbits."

J. Oldsun:  "Show-Me Predator from Washington, MO was awarded the contract."

E. Fudd:  "Dose boys fwom Washington got a thing or two to learn about dese local stway pussy cats, Jimmy!"

J. Oldsun:  "Oh!  Is that right, Elmer.  Do you think you know more than they do about stray pussy cats?"

E. Fudd:  "Yep, Jimmy!  In addition to dose wascally wabbits, I've been a huntin' stway pussy cats all my life!"

J. Oldsun:  "Well thanks for the exclusive interview, Elmer!  I'll let you get back to skinnin' your rabbits now!  Good night!"

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

County Commissioners To Descend Upon The State Capitol Building

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The County Commissioners Association of Missouri (CCAM) has requested that we publish the following press release dated January 27. 2010.

COUNTY COMMISSIONERS TO DESCEND ON THE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING CITING AN UNFAIR PARTNERSHIP

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Jefferson City, Missouri, Jan.27, 2010 – The County Commissioners Association of Missouri (CCAM) is very disappointed that the “Restore The Partnership” campaign with the State of Missouri appears to be a one-sided affair promoted by the counties.  “The campaign certainly does not seem to be a joint effort with state government when the state continues to balance its budget on the backs of the counties,” says CCAM President and Iron County Presiding Commissioner Terry Nichols. “How can we ‘Restore The Partnership’ while the state continues to increase unfunded mandates, erode local control and the local tax base, and prevent the counties from upgrading 9-1-1 emergency services – to name a few critical issues facing county government?”

Hoping not to incite any ill will, but rather to engage in productive dialogue, 330 county commissioners will descend on the State Capitol Building on Thursday, Feb. 4, to hold a rally in the 1st floor Rotunda at 9:30 a.m. The commissioners are doing this in conjunction with their 27th Annual Training Session at the Capital Plaza Hotel in Jefferson City.

Of prime concern to the commissioners is that counties be “held harmless” this session.  “County government isn’t a high-profile news story,” says Nichols. “We don’t get the same play in the press as education, health care, or other issues. The public’s perception is that county governments simply collect taxes. But people should know that what we do touches so many aspects of their lives.

“People should understand that counties have major law enforcement responsibilities, which involve the sheriffs’ departments in jail operations, emergency management, and homeland security procedures.

“They should know that counties are responsible for one of the largest off-system (non-state) road and bridge networks in the nation, with over 73,000 miles of roads and almost 14,000 bridges, and that counties are responsible for property tax assessment, tax collection and distribution of funds to schools,
cities, and other political subdivisions, as well as being charged with conducting all state and local elections.

“And it should be noted that counties contribute significantly to the daily operation of the state court system, including local prosecution of state crimes, juvenile care and detention, public defender obligations, and the incarceration of state prisoners,” argues Nichols.

“But, it is usually only during times of emergency situations such as when an ice storm or a flood occurs that people turn to us, the heads of the government that is closest to them. We are the ones they see every day in their grocery stores, at their gas stations, and on the streets of their hometowns. And, we are the ones who suffer along with them when the state cuts our funding or passes along an unfunded mandate.”

While appreciating the gravity of the state's financial situation, the point is that enough money is simply not coming through the appropriations process and counties are struggling statewide.

What other alternatives are there, ask county commissioners? Some are even wondering if they can just simply refuse to house state prisoners in county jails or if they should campaign ferociously against any ballot measure that negatively impacts the local tax base.

President Nichols hopes for another alternative: that the legislators will listen to the commissioners’ plea when they march to the Capitol, and that Governor Nixon, as well as the House and Senate leadership, will be more receptive this session to building a partnership with their counties – a very essential “arm of state government.”
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HermannHearsay caught up with Gasconade County Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning at his home in Hermann this evening.  When asked to comment on this press release from CCAM, Mr. Penning told us ... "I support what the CCAM is trying to do 100%!  If the State of Missouri wants to hand down mandates to the counties, then they should give us the money to fund these mandates.  Instead they force us to raise money from county taxpayers to pay for the programs which they mandate.  Something has to be done!" 
 
HermannHearsay attempted to contact Southern District Commissioner Jerry Lairmore and Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost for their comments, but we were unable to reach them prior to the publishing deadline for this story.
 
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Dead And Starving Horses Near Rosebud

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

From the KSDK website, http://www.ksdk.com/ ......

KSDK -- The Gasconade County Sheriff's Department and Humane Society of Missouri Animal Cruelty Task Force rescued 13 horses in poor condition from a property near Rosebud, Missouri on Tuesday.

The horses appeared to be severely underweight had no access to fresh water, according to a Humane Society spokesperson. Twelve dead horses were also found on the property.

The sheriff's department received an anonymous phone call on Monday informing them of the dead horses. A warrant was obtained on Tuesday allowing authorities to remove the animals from the property.

The rescued horses will be brought to the Humane Society of Missouri's Longmeadow Rescue Ranch in Union, Missouri. They will remain there until a disposition hearing on February 10. If the HSMO is granted custody of the horses, as many of them as possible will go up for adoption.

Rosebud, Missouri is located approximately 70 miles southwest of St. Louis.  Rosebud is in the Southern District of Gasconade County near Owensville.

For more information on the Humane Society of Missouri or to make a donation, visit http://www.hsmo.org or call 314-951-1542. To report animal abuse to the HSMO, dial 314-647-4400.

Picture submitted via camera phone by NewsChannel 5 photo journalist Tony Chambers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy's comments ...... This is absolutely disgusting!  I heard about this in the coffee shop early this morning!  Folks, if you can't properly care for your pets and animals, then give them up!  Find someone who can and will!  We will be running a follow-up story on the Rosebud horses just as soon as I can get down there and investigate!  I'm sure that HermannAdvertiserCourier.com, CountyNewsLIVE.com and HermannNews.com are all way ahead of me on this BREAKING NEWS!  Go to their websites for up to the minute reporting.

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Site Overload

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

New visitor hits and reader comments are combining to slow down the site.  We cannot keep up moderating our many comments.  Please be patient and bear with us as we work to upgrade our system!  We have never before seen such huge visitor and comment traffic!

Our technical staff believes we can complete the needed upgrades to our system by Friday of this coming week.  Hopefully we can keep things patched together and avoid a website crash during the next five days!

We thank you for your patience and understanding!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Readership Exploding After Mention In CountyNewsLIVE.com

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

On the heels of a very much appreciated favorable mention in the Entertainment Section of the well-known local daily news site CountyNewsLIVE.com, we are finding that the number of hits and the readership on our small website has been increasing by leaps and bounds.  If our website is taken down by this unanticipated explosion in readership, please be patient with us.

Though this sudden increase in traffic is causing us "growing pains" and exposing some infrastructure problems, we nevertheless thank Jeff Noedel over at CountyNewsLIVE.com on 5th Street for mentioning us in his January 23rd article.

I will be sending Jimmy Oldsun into St. Louis tomorrow to see if he can pick up some additional used servers at a good (read cheap) price.  Our owner, Mr. Tiger, is a penny-pincher, and he won't allow us to call in IBM or Hewlett-Packard to install new equipment.  We will do the best that we can under the circumstances.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Editorial Comment - Filing Period For County Offices

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

HermannHearsay contacted the Gasconade County Clerk's Office earlier this week to inquire about the filing period for county offices.  We learned that the filing period begins at 8 a.m. on February 23 and ends at 5 p.m. on March 30.  Candidates for the elective offices of Presiding Commissioner, County Clerk, County Collector, Circuit Clerk and Prosecuting Attorney should file during the filing period.

The editorial board here at HermannHearsay encourages all interested people, be they Democrats, Independents or Republicans, to announce their candidacies for public office and file with the County Clerk.  Democracy works best when citizens have a number of good candidates for public office from whom to choose!

All candidates are invited to interview with HermannHearsay and present their views and positions on current issues facing the county.  Just contact us at 1-800-HEARSAY.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

From The Night Desk - 1/22/2010

Report filed by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

Things are pretty slow in Hermann tonight!  All the good stories have already been reported on by the Hermann A-C, HermannNews.com and CountyNewsLIVE.com.

However, I was able to dig up some stories that our competitors aren't covering:

1. County roads are very muddy and soft after all the rain this morning which followed closely on the heels of the recent snow melt.  Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning was out most of the day inspecting county roads.  Matt says the county may have to invest in a zamboni machine to dry the muddy gravel roads.
2. Ellie Mae Clampett reports that she's knocked up once again.  The father could be any one of three lucky fellas.
3. Elmer J. Fudd reports that the cottontail rabbits have come out of their holes once again now that the weather has moderated.  Elmer should have his famous "Wabbit Stew" available again by Saturday.  Phone your orders in to the Sharp Corner Tavern.
4. The rumor mill at Time For Pie has it that Otis Campbell is in the drunk tank once again.  Otis will need a ride home in the morning.  Can anyone pick Otis up at about 9 a.m.?
5. A stray cat was spotted at the northeast corner of 5th & Market tonight just after midnight.  The sighting has been reported to Alderman John Penning.
6. I received a telephone call from my girlfriend, Essie Marie in Columbia, just a few minutes ago.  Essie wants to break up.  Says she's fallen in love with one of the Mizzou basketball players.  Says that, since I've been workin' the night desk here at HermannHearsay, we never get to see each other anymore.  Journalism is a real tough profession!  Guess I'll knock off for the night, go on home, and drink myself into a right good drunken stupor!

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

Local Reporters Now Out-Number County Officials At Weekly Commission Meetings

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The number of local reporters from our many media outlets now exceed the total number of county officials who actually participate in the weekly Gasconade County commission meetings.  That was certainly the case this Thursday morning when four members of the local media covered the commission meeting attended by Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost, Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning and County Clerk Lesa Lietzow.  (Note:  Southern District Commissioner Jerry Lairmore was absent, as was his son and close advisor, Kyle Lairmore.)

Attending the meeting and representing local media outlets were:  Glenn Warnebold (owner of HermannNews.com and producer of OakGlenn wines),  Jeffrey J. Wright (recently hired managing editor of HermannNews.com), Jessica Nelson (recently hired reporter for HermannNews.com) and Alex Luft (editor of CountyNewsLIVE.com, a Jeff Noedel enterprise).  When these meetings are covered by Don Kruse (editor of the Hermann Advertiser-Courier), Jeff Noedel (owner of CountyNewsLIVE.com) and Dave Marner (managing editor of the Gasconade County Republican) as well as all the reporters who attended this morning's meeting, there will virtually be NO seats for me, Jimmy Oldsun or members of the general public.  Seating space at these meeting is very, very limited.  (Note:  John Penning, a senior citizen, Hermann alderman, and regular attendee at these meetings, was still able to find a seat this morning.)

Reports filed by these reporters may be read at the following links:

http://www.ngnn.com/65041/content/2010/jan/21/county-commissioners-have-concerns-over-tight-budget#comment-4597

http://www.countynewslive.com/content/2010/jan/21/roundup-commissioner-penning-raises-concerns-over-still-be-adopted-2010-budget

Given the intense and thorough coverage of county commission meetings by our competitors, HermannHearsay has made an editorial decision to stop covering these meetings.  Instead I am directing our investigative reporters to cover other stories of interest to our readers throughout the county.  Such stories will include: muddy roads in the county, rabbit habitat restoration efforts by the Missouri Department of Conservation, photos of the new trucks being purchased by the county, the continuing deterioration of our county courthouse and other stories of interest to our readers.  Besides, if Jimmy and I don't attend the weekly meetings, our old friend John Penning is more likely to find a comfy seat at all future commission meetings!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com

America Rising: An Open Letter To Democrats

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

We pause at this time for a special political message.  Click on the following link and enjoy the video clip:

http://www.hillbuzz.org/2010/01/03/america-rising-video-an-open-letter-to-democrats/

Straight From The Horse's Mouth - Things We Don't Report On

Hermann Hearsay Editorial
Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Things Hermann Hearsay doesn't report on are:

1. deadly automobile accidents,
2. deadly domestic shootings,
3. deadly home fires and industrial explosions,
4. deadly drug overdose incidents, and
5. deadly drownings.

We don't chase ambulances, fire trucks or police cars.  We don't publish photos of dead or dying children nor their distraught parents.  We don't publish stories about or photos of burned out homes nor grieving women who have just lost their husbands.  We have decided to leave that kind of macabre reporting to others.

I guess it's just that we just don't delight in the misfortune of others.  And we refuse to profit in any way at the expense of others by reporting on their personal grief and misfortune.  Yes, I suppose it is true we could boost our readership by being the very first on the scene to report on these terrible human trajedies.  We just choose to leave that sort of reporting to those who are desperate to do anything for high ratings. 

You see my friends, Hermann Hearsay is not desperate in that way.  We could care less about gaining a reader following that way.  Instead, we are desperate to gain your respect and friendship.  That means much more to us than high ratings.  It may take longer to gain our fair share of the local Hermann market, but that's OK with us.  In the end though, we are pretty confident we WILL get our fair share of Hermann readers.  That's because we know what Hermannites want to read about and what they don't want to read about.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
Hermann Hearsay

Straight From The Horse's Mouth - An Editorial Comment

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The news business is very fragmented in Hermann. Hermannites have many choices.  In addition to the Hermann Advertiser-Courier, the traditional newspaper of record in Gasconade County, we now have four new non-traditional online daily news websites:

http://www.countynewslive.com/,
http://www.gcsoapbox.com/,
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/, and
http://www.hermannnews.com/

(I should point out to our readers that the Hermann Advertiser-Courier also has a website:  http://www.hermannadvertisercourier.com/.)

Between all five of us, we should have the local Hermann news scene "covered like a blanket".  No story can escape us!  As a matter of fact, we may have the local news so well covered that we may at times end up covering each other covering the news! Ha ha ha!

I just want to say to my colleagues in the news publishing business, Don Kruse (Hermann A-C), Jeff Noedel (CountyNewsLIVE.com), Hank Vonk (GCSoapbox.com) and Glenn Warnebold 
(HermannNEWS.com), that I wish you all the best with your local news enterprises!  And if HermannHearsay can ever assist you in any way, for example by loaning out some of our photographic equipment or perhaps providing you the temporary use of Jimmy Oldsun to cover a random sickday for a member of your staff, please contact us immediately!

Again, to my colleagues in the news business, ALL THE BEST!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
Hermann Hearsay

Classified Ads

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporter and Ad Sales

Word is getting out that Hermann Hearsay offers free classified ads!  The following ads have just been
received:

MISCELLANEOUS

• Illiterate?  Write today for free help.  Ira Jones' Adult Education, Berger, MO.          
• Auto Repair Service.  Free pick-up and delivery.  Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.  Shady Tree Auto Service, McKittrick, MO.    

• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.  486-0001.

• Semi-Annual After-Christmas Sale.  Stock up and save.  Limit: one.  Newman & Sons Snow Shovels.  1-800-SHOVELS.
• 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school.  Experience preferred.  Berger Bottoms Pre-School.
  
• Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.  486-001.
  
• Girl wanted to assist magician in "cutting-off-head" illusion. Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance and generous salary.  1-800-MAGICAL.

Home Winning Streak Intact

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk and Sports Reporter

The Missouri Tiger men's basketball team extended their home winning streak to 30 consecutive games by defeating the #10-ranked Kansas State Wildcats 74-68 at Mizzou Arena on Saturday afternoon.  Only one NCAA team has more consecutive home wins.  That team is the Kansas Jayhawks who currently have 51 consecutive wins in Allen Fieldhouse.

Mizzou, now 13-3 on the year, will face the Texas Tech Red Raiders in another home game at 8 p.m. Wednesday night.  The game will be televised by ESPNU.

G O  T I G E R S !!!

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk and Sports Reporter
Hermann Hearsay

Classified Ads

Published by Lois Lame, Advertising Sales

Classified ads as well as display ads are FREE here at
Hermann Hearsay.  We are proud to post the following list of classified ads, and we're proud to serve local advertisers:

DENTAL CARE

• For Sale:  One pair hardly used dentures.  Only two teeth missing.  $100 OBO.  Call Ira at 573-486-0001.

FOOD AND HOME CARE PRODUCTS

• Watkins quality gourmet natural food and natural home care products.  Order at www.WatkinsOnline/richardhschaefer or call 573-225-2582.
• Elmer Fudd's Delicious Wabbit Stew.  Call 1-800-WABBITS and ask for Elmer.

HEALTH AND NUTRITION 

• VeMMA ultra-premium liquid nutritional supplements and Verve energy drinks.  For more information go to http://www.d_schaefer.vemma.com/ or call 573-225-2582.

HUNTING CLUBS

• Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Hunting Club.  For reservations and driving directions, call 1-800-WABBITS and ask for Elmer.

SNOW REMOVAL

• Newman and Sons Snow Shovel Service.  "You can shovel it or we'll shovel it for you."  New and used snow shovels available.  Snow removal hourly rates.  Call 1-800-SHOVELS and ask for Alfred, Albert, Alfonso or Andrew. 

"Friday Night Last Call" - From The Night Desk, 1/9/2010

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

"Friday Night Last Call" is sponsored by Jack Daniels Tennessee Sippin' Whiskey of Lynchburg, Tennessee.  This is the first edition of what will become a regular weekly series.  The makers of Jack Daniels Whiskey ask that we remind you to drink responsibly.

It's 12:30 a.m. and the area bars are getting ready to issue their "Last Call for Alcohol" announcements. 

Casualty Report ......

1. Emil fell off his barstool down at the Sharp Corner Tavern in the eleven o'clock hour,
2. Bob needed to be driven home by Susie over at Trapper's Grill,
3. Margaret and Sally danced on the bar once again over at the Concert Hall and Barrel Bar,
4. Elmer had his usual snoot full at the Concert Hall and Barrel Bar,
5. Fritz was discovered passed out in his car again on 5th street, and
6. Tiny got on a drunken jag down at the Bank Bar.

All and all, a relatively quiet and uneventful Friday night in the City of Hermann.

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
Hermann Hearsay

"County Budget" - From The Night Desk, 1/8/2010

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Reporter

I spent the evening moving from place to place in Hermann.  Everywhere I went people were buzzing about the 2010 county budgeting process now underway under the direction of Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost.  It seems the primary concerns of the public are fairly consistent:

1.  Why is the budget for the County Sheriff's Department so big?  Why are law-abiding taxpayers paying to house and feed prisoners at the Montgomery County Detention Center?  Let the jailbirds pay for their own food and housing at the detention center!  If they can't do that, put them to work on county projects!

2.  Why are Commissioners Jost and Lairmore proposing to insert $35,000 of taxpayer money into the budget for attorney fees related to continuing the litigation associated with salary over-payment law recently resolved when the Missouri Supreme Court declined to hear the case on appeal?  It's over!  No county money should be allocated for continuing this legal battle.  If parties want to keep suing each other, they should pay the lawyer bills out of their own pockets!

3.  Why is there only $1,000 in the proposed budget for county courthouse maintenance and preservation?  The County Commission has been abjectly negligent for so many years!  It's time to maintain and preserve the historical crown jewel of Gasconade County!  And that will require more than $1,000 for heavensakes!

4.  Do we really, really need a new $104,000 dump truck?  Do we really need it this year when public funds are so tight?  Have the Commissioners investigated the following options:

• delay purchase of new truck until 2011 or 2012,
• purchase late model, low mileage used truck rather than new truck,
• contract hauling services to commercial hauler rather than maintaining fleet of trucks and large road department crew?

Well, there you have it readers!  That's what the folks in Hermann are talking about on this frigid Friday night in January!  The temperature at 9:46 p.m. is 6 degrees Fahrenheit.  Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Reporter
Hermann Hearsay

Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Hunting Club - Third Free Advertisement

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyles Reporting and Advertising Sales

Hermann Hearsay is proud to announce our partnership with a third advertiser.  Please help us support ....

Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Hunting Club

Hunt wascally wabbits with Elmer!

Located on the outskirts of Swiss, MO.  Call 1-800-WABBITS for reservations and driving directions.

Lois Lame

Lifestyles Reporting and Advertising Sales

Hermann Hearsay

Newman's Snow Shoveling Service - Hermann Hearsay's 2nd Free Advertisement!

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyle Reporter and Advertisement Department Manager

Hermann Hearsay is proud to announce we landed our second display ad today!  We're on a roll!

Newman's Snow Shoveling Service

Are you snowed in this winter?

Buy a snow shovel OR we'll come out and shovel it for you!

Both new and used snow shovels available!

Contact us at:

www.NewmanSSS.com or call 1-800-SHOVELS

Owned and continuously operated since 1999 by A. E. Newman & Sons of Bland, MO.

Thanks to Alfred and his sons Albert, Alfonso and Andrew for placing their ad (and trust) with Hermann Hearsay!  We pledge to do all that we can to help them have another profitable snow shoveling season!

Lois Lame

Lifestyle Reporter and Advertisement Department Manager

Hermann Hearsay

"Dry Powdery Snow and Paternity Tests" ..... From The Night Desk - 1/8/2010

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk Staff Reporter

This is the dryest, lightest snow I've ever seen here in Missouri!  I tried to build a snowman today, and I couldn't.  I couldn't even make a snowball to throw at Clark!

When I drove home this morning after last night's shift, I ran off into a ditch because the snow had drifted onto the road, and I could no longer see any tracks on the road to follow.

Elmer Fudd has complained that this snow is so dry and powdery that he is havin' a "hawd time twackin' wabbits"!  Elmer says he is "wunning out of Wabbit Stew" because (a) sales are up in response to his very successful advertising campaign here on Hermann Hearsay and (b) wascally wabbits are stayin' in their holes duwing this extreme cold weather makin' it almost impossible for Elmer to shoot any of them !

I'm gettin' tired of night shift duty!  By the time I come on duty, everything has already been reported on by The Hermann A-C, HermannNews.com and CountyNewsLIVE.com.  I'm gettin' really ticked at Don Kruse, Glenn Warnebold, Jeff Noedel and Alex Luft for hoggin' all the local news!  Those doggone guys are everywhere!

The only thing I have to report tonight is that I learned that Suzie Q. down at the convenience store is knocked up.  She thinks it was either Billy Bob, Tyrone or Jethro who got her pregnant.  More to come in one of my future Night Desk Reports after Suzie Q. has a few paternity tests run!

Signing off until tomorrow night,

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Staff Reporter
Hermann Hearsay

2010 Gasconade County Budget

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

The Gasconade County Commissioners began the 2010 county budgeting process at their regular weekly meeting at the Owensville City Hall this morning.  The budgeting process will continue at the County Courthouse in Hermann on Friday morning at 8:30 a.m.

Hermann Hearsay has a few questions:

1. Will sufficient funds be budgeted in 2010 for the proper maintenance and preservation of our Gasconade County Courthouse or will the County Commission continue to grossly underfund courthouse maintenance and preservation as they have for far too many years in the past? 
2. Will $104,000 REALLY be spent on a new dump truck for the Road and Bridge Department at a time when county employee benefits are being cut, maintenance of the County Courthouse is being neglected, salary increases are being withheld, and so forth and so on?
3. Will the Sheriff's Department budget finally be challenged or will it be permitted to grow without independent oversight by the County Commission?

Hermann Hearsay ...... Free Subscriptions.  Free Advertising.  And Free Budgeting Advice!

Hermann Hearsay encourages the public to turn out in large numbers for the Friday budget meeting!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
Hermann Hearsay

Frank Furter's 3-Day Weather Forecast

Published by Frank Furter, Custodian (recently promoted to Weather Reporter)

3-Day Weather Forecast

Thursday

Day

• High: 11°F  
• Blowing Snow 
• Precipitation: 33%

Night

• Low: 0°F
• Blowing Snow
• Precipitation: 14%

Friday

Day

• High: 7°F  
• Cold
• Precipitation: 14%

 Night

• Low: -5°F
• Partly Cloudy 
• Precipitation: 14%

Saturday

Day

• High: 11°F  
• Partly Sunny
• Precipitation: 14%

Night

• Low: -1°F  
• Partly Cloudy 
• Precipitation: 10%

Frank warns motorists to be careful when driving.  Remember:  snow is slick!  Frank advises that you bring your dogs and cats into the house.  If you have cattle or hogs, herd them into a barn or a farrowing house.  Animals get cold just like people!  Frank also advises you to wear a thick coat, a cap or hat, and mittens when you venture outside during this extreme cold weather. 

Disclaimer:  If our weather forecast proves to be inaccurate, Hermann Hearsay and Frank Furter accept no liability whatsoever for your inconvenience, pain and suffering due to bodily injury or any actual financial damages you may sustain.  If you don't like our weather forecasts, please don't call us and bitch about it.  We get enough complaints around here.  Instead, go to The Weather Channel at http://www.weather.com/.

Frank Furter
Custodian and Weather Reporter
Hermann Hearsay

Snow Day at Hermann Hearsay

Published by Frank Furter, Custodian

Clark asked me to publish this notice.  Hermann Hearsay will be closed for the day because of the snow and frigid weather.  Clark is stuck in a snow drift on a private road leading from his country home on the outskirts of Hermann.  Jimmy ran into the ditch out on Hwy. 19 after night shift.  And Lois Lame is shacked up with her new boyfriend, Elmer Fudd.

As for me, well I'm workin' my tail off throwin' wood into our under-sized pot belly stove and shovelin' snow off the sidewalk!

Frank Furter
Hermann Hearsay Custodian

"End Of An Era" ..... From The Night Desk - 1/7/2010

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Staff Reporter

A grand era of online news reporting came to a sad but unceremonious close today as the Hermann Muenster sign was taken down and the new Hermann News sign was hoisted into its place at 406 South Market Street in Hermann.  Apparently, Hermann News will continue to operate in the news offices once occupied by Hermann Muenster staff.

It's not clear whether or not litigation between the previous co-owners of Hermann Muenster will follow.  One of the co-owners of Hermann Muenster has intimated publicly that litigation is a possibility.  Hermann Hearsay will monitor court filings and report to you if any action is initiated by either party.

Jeff Noedel's new CountyNewsLIVE.com started up earlier this week amidst the fanfare of friends and supporters.  Noedel was a co-owner of Hermann Muenster.  Mr. Noedel and his ever-present, camera-totin' side-kick, MU Journalism School grad, Alex Luft, will be holding their Grand Opening tomorrow afternoon at their new office location on West 5th Street.

Hermann Hearsay wishes HermannNews.com, CountyNewsLIVE.com and the venerable Hermann Advertiser-Courier newspaper all the best!  My goodness!  With all this high-powered local news coverage, Hermann residents are going to know about every little fender-bender, every feral cat running loose within the city limits, every controvery in the halls of both city and county government, and every indiscrete or promiscuous action of their neighbor!

Jimmy Oldsun
Staff Reporter
Hermann Hearsay Night Desk

Is the GCCS still "operational"?

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

I was just wondering ..... Is the GCCS (Gasconade County Courthouse Society) still "operational"?  Does anyone happen to know what is or is not going on?

I paid my $10 membership fee and attended the first annual meeting of membership at the county courthouse on the evening August 10, 2009.  Since that time I am not aware of any further public meetings of the GCCS.  No meetings of the membership at large and no meetings of the board of directors .... at least none to my knowledge.  But I could be misinformed.

What gives?  Has the GCCS thrown in the towel?  Has the GCCS given up on its once passionate and determined mission to renovate the existing courthouse building and build a county office annex?  And if so, what is the reason?

I will be checking with the GCCS board members to see if anyone would like to make a statement on behalf of the GCCS for the record or would like to provide Hermann Hearsay an exclusive interview.  I don't see anyone else pressing this issue, so Hermann Hearsay may as well ask a few probing questions!

For historical reference and perspective, I am reprinting hereinbelow the GCCS press release dated 8/25/2009.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

GCCS Press Release
from Sharon Meyer, GCCS Secretary

The Gasconade County Courthouse Society, (GCCS), held its first annual membership meeting on August 10. Jon Held, the acting chair, called the meeting to order at 7:00 p.m. with 46 people in attendance that included the Gasconade County Commissioners.

In his opening remarks, Jon Held spoke about the reasons the GCCS was formed by concerned citizens on April 23, 2008 and reiterated the purpose and mission as stated in the By-Laws, which is to acquire monies to restore, retain, preserve, and expand the facilities of the Gasconade County Courthouse in Hermann, Mo., as the county seat in order to meet the current and future needs of county government.

Jon Held recognized Joe Roetheli, who drove in from Kansas City to attend the meeting. Jon recapped how Joe’s extraordinary donation was a huge spark for the Society that gave us the ability to purchase the four lots adjacent to the courthouse, which are critical in achieving our purpose. Jon explained that the four lots held by the GCCS cannot be sold by anyone and must be used for the courthouse by 2012 or they revert back to Mr. Roetheli. Jon then reminded those in attendance that the only body that can make official decisions regarding county property is the County Commission. Jon recognized the Commissioners.

Jon then laid out the challenges for the Society as developing a plan which the citizens support, securing six to eight million in funding, and most importantly working together as a county to accomplish the goal. Then the meeting turned to the agenda items, which included the election of the Board of Directors. Jon explained that the By-Laws had recently been revised so that the Board was increased to thirteen members and includes a representative from each of the County’s nine townships and four members at large. Jon thanked the nominating committee, Muriel Brison, Debbie Weingarth, and Sam Bennett for their work and reported they had volunteers wishing to serve in all but four of the townships. Jon then took nominations from the floor and the GCCS voted on the nominees by ballot. Jon Held is in the process of contacting all of those that were nominated and elected to serve on the GCCS Board of Directors. Out of respect for the nominees, the GCCS will announce the names as soon as everyone has confirmed they will serve.

As Roger Prior, the former County Clerk, and Jon were counting the ballots; Joe Roetheli spoke to the group about the unique treasure the courthouse is for Gasconade County. Joe also remarked that out of over 1,300 counties in the United States, the Gasconade County Courthouse appears to be the only one built entirely with private funds. This demonstrates the entrepreneurial spirit upon which our great country was built. And, this alone makes the Courthouse worth saving. Jon interjected that one other county in Wisconsin was built with private funds. Joe then asked the group to do the math and stated .15% of county courthouses were paid for with private funds. He asked if the citizens realized what a rarity this is and how he would love to find that in a business. Joe stated that this unique fact warrants the protection and restoration of the Courthouse.

During the meeting, the members took care of general items of business. At the end of the meeting, Sharon Meyer, the secretary reported that 27 memberships had been paid for during the evening and $1300 had been collected in dues. Jon Held and Sharon reminded those present to contact their family and friends about becoming members.

Annual membership in the organization is $10 for individuals and $15 for families. Additional information is available at http://www.gccourthouse.com/

The Gasconade County Courthouse Society encourages everyone to join and assist in such a worthy purpose. Together we can succeed!

From The Night Desk Of Jimmy Oldsun - 1/6/2010

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Staff Reporter on the Night Desk

A credible source who prefers to remain anonymous at this time has told Hermann Hearsay that the owners of a certain well-known business located on Market Street were seen moving office furniture and equipment out of their rented office space on Tuesday evening.  Hermann Hearsay has not been able to confirm this report with an independent second source nor has Hermann Hearsay been able to contact the owners themselves to find out if they are moving to a new location or whether they are just upgrading to newer office furniture and equipment.  That is why we are not reporting the name of the business nor the names of the business owners.  If anyone can shed any further light on this apparent
developing story, please contact our news department as soon as possible.

In an unrelated matter, two ambulance vehicles were called out in the eleven o'clock hour.  Since our owner, T. T. Tiger, is too squeaky tight to buy us a police scanner, I am unable to report anything further on this matter.  I'm sure we will all hear more about it in a coffee shop or convenience store tomorrow morning.  I hope you can wait until then for heavensakes!

On the continuing matter of the stray cats running rampant in Hermann, I can't say that I've seen anything of them as I have driven around town tonight.  I suppose that they may have all died off in the terrible cold last night.  If anyone out there has any stray cats to report, please contact our news department or Alderman John Penning.

Elmer J. Fudd, owner of the recently opened Elmer J. Fudd's Wabbit Stew has asked us to keep our eyes peeled for rabbits.  I didn't see any rabbits tonight, but I did see a grey squirrel running along a power line in the downtown area just before dusk this evening.

If you haven't already taken your patio plants inside yet this winter, it's probably too late.  I'm pretty sure the extreme cold spell has killed all patio potted plants by now.  The Weather Channel says it's 8 degrees Fahrenheit at about 12:30 am, Wednesday morning, but my outside thermometer is reading 10 degrees Fahrenheit.  The flags at the V.F.W. and the German School Museum indicate a very, very slight breeze.

The 2010 Gasconade County Sheriff Calendars are now available.  I've seen them at Time For Pie and the Hermann Advertiser-Courier, both sponsors of this year's calendar.  I don't where you'd go to buy one or get a free one, I'm just reporting that they're out and about.

On a non-local matter, I am anxiously awaiting college football's national championship game this Thursday night between the Texas Longhorns and the Alabama Crimson Tide.  I haven't the foggiest idea how this game might go, but I think it's gonna be a real battle of two great teams.  Bama is favored by 3-1/2 points.

Well, Clark told be to keep these nightly reports crisp and to the point, so I think I'll conclude by reporting that it's a cold night in Hermann and everything throughout the community seems to be buttoned up tighter than a tick!

Signing off from the night desk,

Jimmy Oldsun
Staff Reporter

Elmer Fudd's Wabbit Stew - First Free Hermann Hearsay Advertisement

Published by Lois Lame, Advertising Department

After concluding the "Man On The Street" interview with Elmer J. Fudd this afternoon, Elmer authorized me to place the following advertisement on his behalf:

Elmer J. Fudd's Wabbit Stew

The best wabbit stew in Gasconade County!  Made daily with fwesh wabbit meat, potatoes, cawwots, navy beans, tomato juice, bay leaves, red onions, Watkins onion and garlic pepper and Watkins pure gwanulated black pepper.

32 ounces ............................................................................................... $4.95

64 ounces ............................................................................................... $8.95

Larger quantities .......................................................... Contwact w/ Elmer

Call Elmer at 1-800-4WABBIT or leave order with Lois Lame at Hermann Hearsay.

Man On The Street Interview #2

Published by Lois Lame, Lifestyle Reporter

As cold as it is, I took to the streets this afternoon to conduct our second "Man On The Street" interview.  Today we caught up with Elmer Fudd (Hermann) at the corner of 5th & Market as he exited the Sharp Corner Tavern.  The topic for this "Man On The Street" interview was the sudden explosion in the number of news media outlets here in Hermann and the impact of this on local residents.

Lois:  Hello, my name is Lois Lame and I'm the Lifestyle Reporter for Hermann Hearsay.  I was hoping I could get your comment on something that is going on here in Hermann.  May I ask you a few questions?

Elmer:  Why certainly!  You'll have to be quick about it though!  Too cold to be standin' awound out here vewy long!

Lois:  Great!  First of all, what is your name, where do you live and what do you do for a living?

Elmer:  My name is Elmer Fudd.  I live in Hermann.  And I hunt wascally wabbits for a living.

Lois:  I see!  A big game hunter, eh Elmer?

Elmer:  That's wight!  I'm a wabbit hunter!

Lois:  My question is this, Elmer ..... Recently we've had an explosion in the number of local news media outlets here in Hermann.  For a long time, we've had only one local newspaper, The Hermann Advertiser-Courier.  Now we have The Hermann A-C, Hermann News (formerly Hermann Muenster), Gasconade County Soapbox, County News LIVE and Hermann Hearsay.  How has this explosion in "news" coverage affected you, Elmer?

Elmer:  Well Lois, I guess it's like this ..... It seems like somebody is always shovin' a micwophone in my face and askin' me my opinion about somethin'.  And somebody is always snappin' photos of me.  And that gets mighty aggwavatin' ..... especially when I'm dwawin' down on a wascally wabbit!  That Alex Luft fellow has caused me to miss a whole bunch of wabbits!

Lois:  Ha ha ha!  That's funny, Elmer!  I hope I'm not bothering you too much by sticking this microphone in your face!

Elmer:  Don't mind you doin' it Ms. Lame.  Your kinda cute and weal nice to talk with!

Lois:  Do you think our local "news" media outlets can do a better job of reporting on subjects of a local interest?

Elmer:  Well Ms. Lame, I sure would like to see more weporting about wabbits!  Maybe you folks could consider a "Wabbit Weport".  It sure would help me out!  If you could just weport on where you're seein' wabbits wunnin' acwoss woads or playin' in back yawds.  Then I could sneak up on 'em and blow 'em to smitheweens!

Lois:  Good idea, Elmer!  I'll bet all the rabbit hunters in the county would like us to provide a Rabbit Report service!

Elmer:  Can I go now, Ms. Lame?  I'm gettin' cold, and I've got some wabbits I've got to skin!

Lois:  Cetainly, Elmer!  Certainly!  Thanks for letting me interview you!

Elmer:  Bye!  I'm gonna make you a coat out of wabbit fur, Ms.  Lame.  You're weally nice!

Lois:  Thank you, Elmer!  Mighty nice of you to say so!

Reader and Advertiser Stats

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Reader Stats (thru 12/31/2009)

Total # of regular readers ..........9 (estimated)  Alfred, Elmer, Clyde, Ima, Homer, Fritz, Roho,  Gabby & Gertrude
Total # of free subscriptions ......9 (estimated)  Ditto above

Advertiser Stats (thru 12/31/2009)

Total # of free advertisers ........ 0 (several firm commitments for 2010)

Seems like the trend in the online "news" industry is to fully disclose readership and advertiser statistics.  In keeping with this trend, Hermann Hearsay will begin publishing its statistics on a monthly frequency.

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

Colder Than A Well-Digger's Ass In Alaska!

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Staff Reporter

Brrrrrrrrrr!  It's a cold one tonight!  About 7 degrees on the Fahrenheit scale at 3:25 am accordin' to my uncalibrated outside thermometer.  I don't know what the windchill is.  If ya wanna know that, you'll have to go to one of those fancier daily news websites in Hermann or you can just go to:  http://www.weatherchannel.com/.

Clark has assigned me to the night desk.  He says our competition is coverin' Hermann news on a 24/7 basis.  Says that if they're gonna cover Hermann around the clock, then we are too!  That Clark is a real task master!

Well, I haven't heard of any worthwhile news to report to you so far tonight.  I saw the cop car go by a few times on their normal patrol.  And I saw a grey cat cross market street at about 2:56 am this morning!  It might have been one of those stray cats that Hermann Alderman John Penning has been complainin' about.  Nope, I didn't get an exclusive interview with the cat.  He ran off before I could get my pocket recorder out of my coat.  Maybe Jeff Noedel got an interview with him though.  I understand Jeff is manning the night shift over at Jeff Noedel's CountyNewsLIVE.com.

This night shift reporting is for the damned birds ...... for the penquins to be exact!

Signing off until tomorrow night,

Jimmy Oldsun
Staff Reporter

Hermann Hearsay Business Cards

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Hermann Hearsay tries to keep its operating costs at a bare minimum.  We pay our staff the lowest salaries we can get by with.  We don't provide them a benefit package or country club membership.  We don't provide our staff of crack reporters a comfy office in which to work.  We make them get right out there in the community where the actions is and file their reports via the internet or by telephone.  We don't even reimburse the travel expenses of our reporters.  And up until now, we haven't even provided them business cards.

Well, times are changing!  We find ourselves under intense competition from Hermann News (formerly Hermann Muenster), Gasconade County Soapbox, the brand new County News Live website, not to mention the two great newspapers of record in Gasconade County, the Hermann Advertiser-Courier and the Gasconade County Republican.  Because of this competitive business environment, our owner and founder, Truman T. Tiger, has authorized me to purchase some cheap business cards for myself, Jimmy Oldsun and Lois Lame.

I wanted to get your input on the design of the our business card before I rush out there and place an order for 500 cards.  Please tell me what you think of the business card copy presented below.  Please be brutally honest.

****Proposed business card copy****

Hermann Hearsay

FREE ..... FUNNY ..... FLIPPANT ..... FARCICAL
News, news analysis, opinion editorials, local man-on-the-street interviews, unsubstantiated
coffee shop rumors and hearsay ..... basically all the stuff you really want or need!

The latest rumors, one-sided reports and hearsay ... straight from the horse's mouth!

http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/                  1-800-HEARSAY

 
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

The Problem With Online "News" Blogs

Published by Truman T. Tiger, Owner and Founder of Hermann Hearsay

I want to discuss something here that has been bothering me for quite awhile.

Have you ever taken time to consider the typical nature of online so-called "news" websites or blogs?  I'm talking about the kind of "news" sites which allow, encourage and even actively promote reader participation.  I'm talking about the kind of "news" sites which go well beyond just reporting the factual information related to news stories and the actual quotes given by the newsmakers in those stories.  I'm talking about the online "news" sites that intentionally stir up controversy in order to encourage reader participation .... in order to create "buzz" .... in order to increase advertising revenue and reader subscription fees.  Those are the online "news" sites I'm talkin' about!

Objective and professional journalists, and there are many such fine journalists in America, will report all the pertinent facts about a news story.  An objective and professional journalist will answer the following questions in sufficient detail to satisfy all or most of the questions his/her readers may have:  What happened or is about to happen?  Where did it happen or is it about to happen?  Who and/or what is (are) the source(s) for the news story?  (Note:  A really good journalist will try to confirm his stories using two or three independent sources of credible information.)  Are the sources used/quoted credible and are the sources uniquely positioned to know what they are talking about?  What are the implications and/or consequences of this news story?  In other words, why should the reader even care about this news story?

An online so-called "news" site which invites (and often incites) its readers to make comments on a story about which all sides of that story have not been thoroughly and fairly researched and represented does a great disservice to its community of readers.  Readers often get stirred up and agitated, because all sides of a particular story have not been fairly reported, which is too often done purposely.  Readers also get stirred up and agitated by the comments published on the "news" site by "shills" who are used (sometimes employed) to pump-up controversy, reader interest and readership volume.  In such instances, it's all about pumping-up readership to attract advertising revenue rather than objectively reporting on the news stories.

Here at Hermann Hearsay, we DO NOT purport to be a legitimate online "news" website.  Rather, our purpose is to expose the hypocrisy of sites which DO represent themselves as legitimate "news" sites of the "future" and drain precious advertising dollars from local businesses to run what basically amount to "opinion blogs".  We expose this kind of hypocrisy by using humor in our "reporting".  We use various forms of humor to drive our points home .... parody, farce and exaggeration. 

Our readers can judge for themselves.  Afterall, all of our readers here at Hermann Hearsay are highly-educated and exceptionally discerning. I've had the pleasure of meeting and becoming acquainted with all of my readers.  I maintain that IF you are looking for hard news coverage without the attendant chatter of partially-informed readers, you should read your local newspaper (like the Hermann Advertiser-Courier), a good state/regional newspaper (like the St. Louis Post-Dispatch) and a prominent national/international newspaper (like the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times).  Reading these newspapers will give you plenty of current news and news analysis written by EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL JOURNALISTS.  And when you read these fine newspapers, you must still be aware that every reporter is a human being and thus has his/her own personal biases and agendas.  The editors of these publications also have their own personal biases and agendas.  But our readers already know that.  Our readers are intelligent, critical and analytical.  They will not be taken in by spin or one-sided, biased reporting!

And then, if you want to discuss and argue about local, county, state, national and international issues, don't argue with other unnamed, anonymous readers on one of those so-called "news" websites.  Instead, go down to your local coffee shop, restaurant, barber shop, beauty shop or tavern and strike up a satisfying and stimulating conversation with your neighbors.  You'll meet and make new friends.  You'll have interesting, stimulating and informative conversations.  And best of all, you won't have to pay a "subscription fee" for the privilege!

Truman T. Tiger
Owner and Founder
Hermann Hearsay