I'm parked out here at the Hermann Post Office interviewing lots of late income tax filers from Hermann. Here are some sample comments thus far:
Income Tax Late Filer #1:
Jimmy Oldsun: "My name is Jimmy Oldsun. I see you're mailing something. Are those your income tax returns?
Barry Schmelly: "Get the hell out of my way, punk! I'm not in a very good mood!"
Jimmy Oldsun: "I presume that means you're having to pay in instead of getting a refund?"
Barry Schmelly: "F&^* you! Get the hell out of my may!
Income Tax Late Filer #2:
Jimmy Oldsun: "Hello there.! I was wondering if you'd mind answering a few questions? My name is ...."
Charlie Farquharson: "Are you with the IRS?"
Jimmy Oldsun: "No sir, I'm with Hermann Hearsay! My name is Jimmy."
Charlie Farquharson: "You sure do look like one of them IRS agents!"
Jimmy Oldsun: "I swear that I'm not with the Internal Revenue Service!"
Charlie Farquharson: "How can I help you then?"
Jimmy Oldsun: "I was just wondering why you procrastinated until just two nights before the filing deadline to mail in your return?"
Charlie Farquharson: "Jimmy, you can just kiss my red, white and blue ass! Get the hell out of my way!"
Income Tax Late Filer #3:
Jimmy Oldsun: "Good evening, sir! My name is Jimmy Oldsun."
Al Capone: "Oh yeah? Do I know you? My name is Al Capone."
Jimmy Oldsun: "No, I don't think so. I'm with Hermann Hearsay!"
Al Capone: "Is that a new speakeasy?"
Jimmy Oldsun: "Not exactly. It's more like an online news service."
Al Capone: "Is that a video camera your buddy has there? Get that damn thing, Frankie!"
Jimmy Oldsun: "What are you guys doing? That's an expensive camera!"
Al Capone: "Sorry Jimmy! I can't permit my picture to be taken!"
Jimmy Oldsun: "Just let me ask you a few questions about filing your income tax returns two nights before the filing deadline."
Al Capone: "Taxes?! What the hell are you talking about? I don't pay taxes! Never have! That's for stupid suckers like you, Jimmy!"
Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Report (and other cool stuff)
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
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