HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

Well, it's been a great 2009 here at Hermann Hearsay!  We've met a lot of new friends, and we've successfully launched our online daily news and "hearsay" website.  We couldn't be more thankful to our many loyal readers, and we're looking forward to an even bigger and better 2010.

And now it's that time of year when we pause to wish all of our friends and readers a HAPPY NEW YEAR and GOOD FORTUNE!!!  The entire staff here at Hermann Hearsay (Jimmy, Lois and myself) pause to thank you and wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!

We will be knocking off work here at noon today for our first annual New Years office party ....... coffee and pie at 'Time For Pie'.  You're welcome to stop by for a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.  I will be leaving at 2:30 pm to watch Mizzou beat Navy in the Texas Bowl.  The game will be televised on ESPN.  GO TIGERS!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief

FREE ADVERTISING WILL IMPROVE YOUR BOTTOM LINE!

Published by Lois Lame, Advertising Department

Are advertising costs becoming unaffordable for your struggling business?  Well then, advertise here with Hermann Hearsay for FREE!  Yes, FREE!  No catches, no fine print, no bull!

Just provide us a little background information and let our crack team go to work on an article advertising your products and/or services.  Here's what we need:

1. Name of business
2. In business since __________ .
3. Owner and/or manager of business
4. Location of business
5. Hours of operation
6. Products and/or services offered
7. Business telephone number(s)
8. Business email address
9. Business website

Call us at 1-800-HEARSAY or leave a comment with contact information and we'll call you!

Lois Lame
Advertising Department

Hermann Hearsay STILL FREE OF CHARGE!!!!!

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

In an increasingly depressed economic environment where other online daily news outlets are charging their readers subscription fees and their advertisers advertisement fees, Hermann Hearsay is very proud to announce that it is STILL FREE OF CHARGE to EVERYONE!  Furthermore, Hermann Hearsay will REMAIN FREE OF CHARGE to EVERYONE as long as owner and founder, Truman T. Tiger, retains ownership of our online service!

How do we do it, you ask?  Simple!  We keep our cost structure lower than everyone else!  No fancy news department offices here!  No bloated salaries and benefit packages for me and my staff.  We are th lowest paid jounalists in Gasconade County.  In fact, I provide my own computer system, my own desk and chair, and even my own damned coffee!  Instead of burning up gas money driving to the scene of a breaking news story, we rely upon "hearsay" reports from our friends and contacts in the local community.  We do everything you can think of to hold our costs to a bare minimum.

You see, our owner is a miserly old fuddy-duddy of a businessman!  He can pinch a penny more than anyone I've ever seen!  Jimmy, Lois and I can criticize him all we want.  What's he gonna do?  Fire us?!  Nope, he'll never do that 'cause we work cheaper than anyone else he could find!

So friends, if you want to advertise on Hermann Hearsay for FREE, give us a call here at 1-800-HEARSAY or simply leave a comment on the website.  And if you have friends and associates who are looking to tap into local hearsay and gossip FREE OF SUBSCRIPTION CHARGES, send 'em our way.  We don't charge even one thin dime to those who want to read our Pulitizer prize-winning "hearsay reports"!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief