Hermann Hearsay Performance Metrics - Thursday, 10/7/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date: 10/7/2010
Post:  862

Performance Metrics:

Total # FREE Subscribers: 000,355

Total # Premium Subscribers: 000,030

Total # Ultra Premium Subscribers: 000,004

Total # Platinum Lifetime Subscribers: 000,003

Subscribers Currently Online: 000,097

New Visitors Currently Online: 000,053

Total # Comments During Previous 7 Days: 7

Average # Comments Per Day: 1.0

Alexa U.S. Traffic Ranking: not available

Alexa World Traffic Ranking: 1,575,693

Cumulative Postings Since Start-up: 862

Total # Subscriber Telethons, Raffles & Bake Sales: 0

Total $'s Recv'd From Politicians For Promotional Consideration: 0

Total # Subscriptions Revoked for Copyright Infringement: 0

Overall Financial Conditon: Solvent

A. E. Newman Unveils New Campaign Posters

Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer; Amateur Investigative Reporter; and Aspiring Photo-Journalist

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  861

At a hastily-called news conference in Canaan this evening, A. E. Newman unveiled his new campaign poster.  (See photo below.) 

Newman said this .... "As a little-known challenger for the office of Southern District Associate Commissioner, I have to do special things to gain the attention of the voters.  I'm hoping this campaign poster will increase my name recognition in the southern district of Gasconade County.  You will soon see them popping up all over the place!

A. E. Newman Campaign Poster

Photo by Dick Schaefer (Hermann Hearsay).
Copyright protected.  All rights reserved.

"The Gods of the Copybook Headings"

Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer; Amateur Investigative Reporter; and Aspiring Photo-Journalist

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  860

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

by Rudyard Kipling
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is this poem telling us?  Kipling was profound and it is important to carefully consider what he was saying in this poem.  For poem analysis and discussion, go to http://www.eliteskills.com/c/1460 .

Eric Clapton - "Tears In Heaven" ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Posted by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  859

It's "Eric Clapton Thursday" again.  One of the first Eric Clapton songs I posted was "Tears In Heaven".  This is one of my all-time favorite songs, so I'm going to post it again.  I hope you don't mind!

A. E. Newman Delivers Third Stump Speech In Hometown Of Bland

Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer; Amateur Investigative Reporter; and Aspiring Photo-Journalist

Large Tree Stump
Bland, MO

Photo by Dick Schaefer (Hermann Hearsay)
Copyright protected.  All rights reserved.

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  858

EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE:  Not covered by any other news media organization.

On a crisp and cool Thursday morning in early October, A. E. Newman (5' 8") stepped up on a large tree stump on the outskirts of his hometown, Bland, and he delivered his third campaign speech since announcing his candidacy for Southern District Associate Commissioner.  Approximately 25 Bland residents and three coonhounds were in attendance.  Here is the text of Newman's stump speech:

Friends and Neighbors,

Thanks for coming out on this beautiful sunny October morning!  I hope you've helped yourself to a complimentary cup of coffee.  If you haven't, please see my assistant, Freida Dunderbak, over there under that big hickory tree.

Friends and Neighbors, I have been working on my campaign platform since I announced my candidacy for the office of Southern District Associate Commissioner.  It is coming together nicely, and I plan to unveil it before the month is up.

Rather than outline all the planks in my campaign platform today, I would like to tell you in a general way why I am running to unseat Jerry Lairmore of Owensville.

Number 1:  LEADERSHIP!  We need a change in the county's leadership.  We need someone who can work effectively and harmoniously with Northern District Associate Commissioner Matt Penning.  Mr. Lairmore (and Mr. Jost for that matter) seem incapable of doing that!  I spoke about this problem the other day up in Hermann.  Mr. Lairmore made a statement in last week's open session of the County Commission that he didn't have Matt Penning's telephone number and therefore had "no way to contact" him about an important county matter!  Folks, that's just ridiculous!  In plain talk out here in the country, we call it "BULLSHIT"!  Either Lairmore is totally incompetent and NOT resourceful OR he is just flat out lieing!  Lairmore plays his little "games", but we don't need "game playing" in county government!  We have pressing problems to address!

Number 2:  REPRESENTATION!  We need someone who will represent your interests and not just the interests of a few influential families in Owensville.  Jerry Lairmore is NOT representing your best interests.  He is doing the bidding of a few people in Owensville.  That has to STOP!

Number 3:  COUNTY SEAT LOCATION!  We need someone who will discourage misguided citizens from wasting time on the periodic ballot petition drives to relocate the county seat.  Let's quit fighting about the county seat, folks!  We all lose if we spend our time fighting with our neighbors in the northern district.  Instead, let's accept the fact that the county seat is in Hermann.  Let's work together to preserve OUR historical courthouse building in Hermann, and let's expand the county's government center if it is indeed necessary.  If we work with the folks in Hermann to preserve and renovate the courthouse, they will work with us to upgrade some of our infrastructure here in the southern part of the county.  I pledge that I will work to improve our county roads and bridges in the southern district, and I will work to upgrade facilities at the county fairgrounds in Owensville.  But I will not spend any of my time working to relocate the county seat.

Number 4:  JOBS!  Jerry Lairmore is doing absolutely NOTHING to attract good-paying jobs to this area.  To the contrary, his puppet masters don't want him to bring progressive industry which would
offer better wages, salaries and benefits to the hard-working people of our local area.  Lairmore and his bosses are all about preserving the STATUS QUO!  I will shake thinks up!  I will go out and invite industry representatives to come and see all the good things our local area has to offer.  And I will do it whether or not I get any help from the Owensville Board of Aldermen or the Owensville Chamber of Commerce!

Number 5:  FINANCIAL CONTROLS!  The county's financial systems, procedures and controls are OUT OF CONTROL!  We've had major deficiencies noted in the Missouri State Auditor's reports of 2002, 2006 and 2010.  NOTHING is being done to improve our systems, procedures and controls!  I will work with Commissioner Penning to focus attention on these matters!

In closing, let me just say that I appreciate all of you coming out early this morning to support my candidacy.  Some have asked if they can donate money to my campaign.  I appreciate that, but my campaign is 100% self-funded.  Why should I ask you for money?  The position of associate commissioner pays well, and I have done well with my cattle operation.  What I do ask of you is to help me get my message out and to get out to the polls on election day of November 2012.  Please help me in that way!  I will be forever grateful!

Photo Of The Day - Thursday, 10/7/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  857

Hermann Riverfront Park
10/4/2010

Photo by Dick Schaefer (Hermann Hearsay)
Copyright protected.  All rights reserved.

Laugh Of The Day - Thursday, 10/7/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  856

"Christine O'Donnell has a new campaign ad where she says she's not a witch. Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, 'Hey, that's my slogan.'"  ~ Jay Leno, 10/5/2010

Quote Of The Day - Thursday, 10/7/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  855

"We need to end permanently the tax that punishes American values of savings and investment and of building small businesses and family farms and ranches."  ~  Senator Christopher 'Kit' Bond (R-MO)

Bible Verse Of The Day - Thursday, 10/7/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  10/7/2010
Post:  854

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.  ~ John 15:16-17

We would like to think that we found God – but He actually chose us! Our ability to bear fruit doesn’t come from our own will power, but from a heavenly intervention on our behalf.

We are not our own – to ask based around our own agendas betrays the fact that we have been chosen and appointed. Chosen for what? Appointed for what? To love one another. This begins the pilgrim’s journey. This forms the asking. This becomes the great adventure of following Jesus.

Today’s commentary by Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org