This is the dryest, lightest snow I've ever seen here in Missouri! I tried to build a snowman today, and I couldn't. I couldn't even make a snowball to throw at Clark!
When I drove home this morning after last night's shift, I ran off into a ditch because the snow had drifted onto the road, and I could no longer see any tracks on the road to follow.
Elmer Fudd has complained that this snow is so dry and powdery that he is havin' a "hawd time twackin' wabbits"! Elmer says he is "wunning out of Wabbit Stew" because (a) sales are up in response to his very successful advertising campaign here on Hermann Hearsay and (b) wascally wabbits are stayin' in their holes duwing this extreme cold weather makin' it almost impossible for Elmer to shoot any of them !
I'm gettin' tired of night shift duty! By the time I come on duty, everything has already been reported on by The Hermann A-C, HermannNews.com and CountyNewsLIVE.com. I'm gettin' really ticked at Don Kruse, Glenn Warnebold, Jeff Noedel and Alex Luft for hoggin' all the local news! Those doggone guys are everywhere!
The only thing I have to report tonight is that I learned that Suzie Q. down at the convenience store is knocked up. She thinks it was either Billy Bob, Tyrone or Jethro who got her pregnant. More to come in one of my future Night Desk Reports after Suzie Q. has a few paternity tests run!
Signing off until tomorrow night,
Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk Staff Reporter
Hermann Hearsay
Sounds like ol' Suzie Q. is a wild and crazy girl!
ReplyDeleteAlfred
It wasn't me! I bought Suzie Q. some Valentine's Candy last year, but we broke up soon afterwards 'cause Billy Bob bought her a dozen red roses!
ReplyDeleteJethro