Things are pretty slow in Hermann tonight! All the good stories have already been reported on by the Hermann A-C, HermannNews.com and CountyNewsLIVE.com.
However, I was able to dig up some stories that our competitors aren't covering:
- County roads are very muddy and soft after all the rain this morning which followed closely on the heels of the recent snow melt. Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning was out most of the day inspecting county roads. Matt says the county may have to invest in a zamboni machine to dry the muddy gravel roads.
- Ellie Mae Clampett reports that she's knocked up once again. The father could be any one of three lucky fellas.
- Elmer J. Fudd reports that the cottontail rabbits have come out of their holes once again now that the weather has moderated. Elmer should have his famous "Wabbit Stew" available again by Saturday. Phone your orders in to the Sharp Corner Tavern.
- The rumor mill at Time For Pie has it that Otis Campbell is in the drunk tank once again. Otis will need a ride home in the morning. Can anyone pick Otis up at about 9 a.m.?
- A stray cat was spotted at the northeast corner of 5th & Market tonight just after midnight. The sighting has been reported to Alderman John Penning.
- I received a telephone call from my girlfriend, Essie Marie in Columbia, just a few minutes ago. Essie wants to break up. Says she's fallen in love with one of the Mizzou basketball players. Says that, since I've been workin' the night desk here at HermannHearsay, we never get to see each other anymore. Journalism is a real tough profession! Guess I'll knock off for the night, go on home, and drink myself into a right good drunken stupor!
Night Desk Reporter
HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
