Hermann Hearsay Performance Metrics - Monday, 9/20/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date: 9/20/2010

Performance Metrics:

Total # FREE Subscribers: 000,353

Total # Premium Subscribers: 000,030

Total # Ultra Premium Subscribers: 000,004

Total # Platinum Lifetime Subscribers: 000,003

Subscribers Currently Online: 000,099

New Visitors Currently Online: 000,058
Total # Comments During Previous 7 Days: 14
Average # Comments Per Day: 2

Alexa U.S. Traffic Ranking: not available

Alexa World Traffic Ranking: 1,110,513

Cumulative Postings Since Start-up: 762

Total # Subscriber Telethons, Raffles & Bake Sales: 0

Total $'s Recv'd From Politicians For Promotional Consideration: 0

Total # Subscriptions Revoked for Copyright Infringement: 0

Overall Financial Conditon: Solvent

Dat Dog Don't Hunt!!!

Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer and Amateur Investigative Reporter and Aspiring Photo-journalist

Date:  9/20/2010

Another online "news" site boasts 256 total PAID subscribers.  This same site posted 40 articles from Sunday, 9/12 thru Sunday, 9/19.  These 40 articles received a total of three (3) comments and really only two (2) new comments if you consider the fact that one of the comments is a carry-over from 2/25/2010.  Of the two (2) new comments, one (1) comment is from a "contributing writer" to the site.

256 total PAID subscribers?!  Dat dog don't hunt!!!

'Old Blue'
Bluetick Coonhound

BREAKING NEWS: A. E. Newman Announces Candidacy for Southern District Associate Commissioner

Published by Dick Schaefer, Award-winning, Unpaid, Part-time Contributing Writer and Amateur Investigative Reporter and Aspiring Photo-journalist

A. E. Newman

Date:  9/20/2010

A. E. Newman of Bland, MO announced his candidacy for Southern District Associate Commissioner of Gasconade County this morning at the McDonald's in Owensville.  Speaking between bites of an 'Egg McMuffin' breakfast sandwich, Newman's usual breakfast fare, he told reporters that he decided to make the run after careful consideration during the past several weeks.

Newman told reporters he will run as an Independent in the 2012 election campaign.  He figures this will assure him of the chance facing off with incumbent Jerry Lairmore of Owensville in the general election.  Newman promises to campaign for election to the office every evening and every Saturday and Sunday between now and November 2012.  Newman is already very organized.  He has a campaign organizer in every city and town in the southern district of Gasconade County except for Canaan.  Newman's campaign will be entirely self-funded from the money he makes on his paper route.  He will accept NO above-the-table campaign contributions from the voters.

When asked about the planks in his campaign platform, Newman told Hermann Hearsay that he is still formulating his comprehensive platform but he gave us a glimpse by saying that, if elected, he will work hard to:

1. upgrade all county roads in the southern district to the high standards of Pigg Hollow Road,
2. provide improved benefits to county employees to include:  100% paid cellphone service, 100% paid internet service, $20 per month credit at the McDonald's in Owensvill, $20 per month credit at Bogie's in Owensville and a chicken in every pot,
3. hire Horace Brown, recent Missouri S&T grad, as Gasconade County's first county engineer,
4. refrain from speaking harshly and cussing out his colleagues during road department meetings at Drake,
5. save the county money on its purchases of tires and tire services by building and operating Newman's Tire Store in Drake,
6. move county commission meetings to evening sessions so more citizens can attend,
7. eliminate ALL political stump speeches in county commission meetings, and
8. prohibit arbitrary ejections of senior citizens from county commission meetings.

Photo Of The Day - Monday, 9/20/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  9/20/2010

'Scout' Playing Soccer
22 weeks old and still growing like a weed!

Photo courtesy of Lauren Schaefer.
Copyright protected.  All rights reserved.

Laugh Of The Day - Monday, 9/20/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  9/20/2010

"You might be a redneck if your Christmas ornaments are made out of spent shot-gun shells."  ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Quote Of The Day - Monday, 9/20/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  9/20/2010

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."  ~ Mohandas Gandhi

Bible Verse Of The Day - Monday, 9/20/2010

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

Date:  9/20/2010

He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who looks after his master will be honored.  ~ Proverbs 27:18

In this comparison, we see a picture of competence and loyalty. The master is like the fig tree, providing for the needs of his servant. But if the tree is not tended, no one benefits. If the master is not looked after, he won’t have the resources to honor his servant.

Today, we could remove the master/slave titles and put in employer/employee, or entrepreneur/client.

To tend to our source of provision is to take care of ourselves.

Commentary by:  Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org