Thursday, July 22, 2010

Editorial Comment: Competitor Announces Further Restrictions To Reader Access. Hermann Hearsay Responds.

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, NDRIRSRWRAFTC & Editor

Further restrictions to reader access were announced by one of our competitors on Thursday, 7/22, to wit .....

"Starting Monday, about one-third of CNL content will be available to CNL subscribers only. This is a permanent change from the once-a-day to once-every three or four days we've been at since we began with our subscription in January."

In a very aggressive and highly unorthodox move aimed at keeping pace with our cross-town online daily news competitor, the editorial board and ownership of Hermann Hearsay announced, just after the close of the Wall Street financial markets this afternoon, that we too will begin restricting access to our vast worldwide readership.  We didn't want to do this, but CNL has forced our hand!  In our case, we shall forthwith adopt the policy that we will no longer translate our articles into foreign languages.  Our reporters and contributing writers write their articles in English.  If you can't read 'em that way,
tough!  We don't have that many German, French, Spanish and Japanese speaking subscribers anyway!  Do you have any idea what it has been costing us to translate our articles into all these foreign languages?!  And just so we can give them away FREE to a few cheapskate non-English speaking subscribers?!

We think it is quite likely that we are blazing a new trail with our new restrictive access policy!  We may be making journalism history right here in Hermann, MO.  It's a competitve battle within the online daily news industry to see who can be the MOST RESTRICTIVE with access to content without eventually pissing off all their readers!  Yep, we're probably gonna piss off a few Germans, French, Mexicans and Japanese.  But that's just tough!  They can just learn to read English if they wanna know what's going on here in Hermann!  By cutting our costs for translators, we will be able to continue offering 100% of our content FREE to English speaking subscribers!

We are pleased that one-third of the CNL articles will soon be unavailable to us since we are not paid subscribers to their website.  We are relieved that we will have much less work to do correcting and critiquing their articles.  We suspect that it will be a high priority for them to restrict access to the biased, one-sided articles they seem to publish with regard to the affairs of the Gasconade County Commission.  We won't have to spend our valuable time correcting the misinformation and selective reports they tend to spread about the County Commission.  Fortunately fewer people will read the articles they hide from the general public.  We think that's a good thing!

Performance Metrics:
Total # FREE Subscribers: 000,345
Total # Premium Subscribers: 000,029
Total # Ultra Premium Subscribers: 000,004
Total # Platinum Lifetime Subscribers: 000,003
Subscribers Currently Online: 000,096
New Visitors Currently Online: 000,032
Alexa U.S. Traffic Ranking: 167,968
Total # Subscriber Telethons, Raffles & Bake Sales: 000,000

Reciprocal Websites:
www.dschaefer.vemma.com/ (Ultra Premium Nutritional Drinks)
www.ngnn.com/ (Hermann, New Haven and Owensville NEWS)
www.rivertownrecipes.blogspot.com/ (Food & Drink Recipes)
www.vemmadrinker.blogspot.com/ (Premium Nutritional Drinks)

Non-Reciprocal Websites:
www.dorasspinningwheel.com/ (Embroidered Caps, Shirts, Etc.)
www.timeforpie.com/ (Pie, Rolls, Scones, Coffee, Lattes & More)

1 comment:

  1. You should restrict access to just 10 readers who will pay you a king's ransom to read your stuff! Perhaps you could conduct an online auction to maximize the dollars you could bleed out of these 10 lucky readers! Just think! If you could extract $10,000 per annum per reader, you'd have a nice $100,000 per annum part-time income. Not too shabby!

    A disgruntled CNL reader

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