In an increasingly depressed economic environment where other online daily news outlets are charging their readers subscription fees and their advertisers advertisement fees, Hermann Hearsay is very proud to announce that it is STILL FREE OF CHARGE to EVERYONE! Furthermore, Hermann Hearsay will REMAIN FREE OF CHARGE to EVERYONE as long as owner and founder, Truman T. Tiger, retains ownership of our online service!
How do we do it, you ask? Simple! We keep our cost structure lower than everyone else! No fancy news department offices here! No bloated salaries and benefit packages for me and my staff. We are th lowest paid jounalists in Gasconade County. In fact, I provide my own computer system, my own desk and chair, and even my own damned coffee! Instead of burning up gas money driving to the scene of a breaking news story, we rely upon "hearsay" reports from our friends and contacts in the local community. We do everything you can think of to hold our costs to a bare minimum.
You see, our owner is a miserly old fuddy-duddy of a businessman! He can pinch a penny more than anyone I've ever seen! Jimmy, Lois and I can criticize him all we want. What's he gonna do? Fire us?! Nope, he'll never do that 'cause we work cheaper than anyone else he could find!
So friends, if you want to advertise on Hermann Hearsay for FREE, give us a call here at 1-800-HEARSAY or simply leave a comment on the website. And if you have friends and associates who are looking to tap into local hearsay and gossip FREE OF SUBSCRIPTION CHARGES, send 'em our way. We don't charge even one thin dime to those who want to read our Pulitizer prize-winning "hearsay reports"!
Clark Kant
Editor In Chief
No comments:
Post a Comment