Hermann Hearsay On The Leading Edge Of Technology

Published by Frank Furter, Janitor, Frene Creek Monitor and IT Director

We're always incorporating the latest technology into our operations here at 'Hermann Hearsay'.  Some recent technology improvements and upgrades include the following:

1. Automatic IP address identification system so we can identify the IP address, country and GPS coordinates of our "Anonymous" commenters and our new visitors.  Note:  With this technology, we are able to distinguish unique commenters from repeat commenters.
2. Automatic counters for total # subscribers, # subscribers online and # visitors online.  Note:  You may have already noticed these numbers after each article or report.
3. Automatic surge protection for site overload conditions.  Note:  With this new technology, the site will never be down, and we will never have to apologize for the site being down.  We have planned ahead for whatever server capacity and bandwidth capacity we will ever need.  We have contracted for additonal capacity to "kick in" automatically at precisely the instant it is needed.
4. Automatic identification and alarm system for attempted espionage by competing online news websites.  Note:  Our staff of reporters work hard to develop and publish their stories.  We don't want to give the product of that work away free to competitors.  Therefore, competitors will not be able to access our stories unless and until we permit them to do so.
5. Automatic comment moderation.  Note:  The volume of comments we are now getting has forced us to implement this unique proprietary system.  This state-of-the-art system checks comments for profane language and it forwards the most unique and meaningful commments to our editor for his response.  This system saves our editor a lot of time, time which he can better spend on his investigative reports and editorial comments.

There are several other improvements that we are considering.  For example, we are developing a low-cost, highly-mobile, wireless live webcam technology that will revolutionize the industry.  With this technology, we will be able to blanket the local area with small, wireless webcams.  Installation will be possible in less than 10 minutes, and we will not be dependent upon the availability of local electrical contractors to get our webcams installed.  We will make the images of these webcams available to any local online news service which desires to use them.  There will of course be a modest fee.  We are also working on two other neat ideas which we call "iReport" and "iTube".  These ideas and new technologies will make high-paid photojournalists, ambush journalists and ambulance chasing journalists a thing of the past.  In fact, these technologies have the potential to threaten the very existence of American journalism schools.  These technologies will bring the news to readers and viewers instantaneously and free of bias and spin!

Ain't technology a beautiful thing?!

Frank Furter
Janitor, Frene Creek Monitor and IT Director
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/

Total # of FREE subscribers: 000282

Subscribers currently online: 000206

New visitors currently online: 000183

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