Man On The Street Interview - Hermann, MO

Published by Clark Kant, Editor In Chief

After spending almost a week trying to get our live webcam back up and running, we have given up!  I have terminated our incompetent technical crew!  I had planned to install a small webcam at every street corner and at the entrance to every bar in Hermann.  I thought it might be a fun thing to do.  But the technical execution of our strategy has become prohibitively expensive!  We will leave this webcam thing to other better capitalized media outlets in Hermann.

Instead of installing live webcams all over Hermann, we will now focus our efforts where others are not currently focusing ....... man (and woman) on the street interviews.  Yep, I thought it might be cool to interview unsuspecting people out on the streets of Hermann.  You know, kinda blind side 'em and get 'em to say somethin' goofy ...... like that Jay Leno fella does on TV.

Our first man on the street interview occurred at about 8:30 am this morning.  I caught Alfred E. Newman exiting Time For Pie, one of Hermann's premier pie and coffee shops.  Time For Pie is located at the corner of 4th and Schiller Streets.  I highly recommend their pie and coffee drinks!

My interview of Mr. Newman went something like this:

Clark Kant:  "Good morning!  I'm Clark Kant from Hermann Hearsay.  I was wondering if I could talk with you for a few minutes.  Would that be OK?"

A. E. Newman:  "Well, I reckon that'd be OK.  You say you're with Hermann Hearsay?  Just what the heck is Hermann Hearsay?  Never heard of it!"

Clark Kant:  "Hermann Hearsay is an online source of cool information about Hermann.  We cover some areas that the major media in Hermann just don't bother to cover.  By the way, I forgot to ask you your name."

A. E. Newman:  "Mr. Kant, may I call you Clark?"

Clark Kant:  "Sure, by all means, call me Clark?  And what is your name, sir?"

A. E. Newman:  "I'm A. E. Newman from Bland.  You can just call me Alfred."

Clark Kant:  "Well Alfred, what are you doing all the way up here in Hermann this morning?"

A. E. Newman:  "Oh, I'm just passing through on my way up to Columbia.  I've got some business up there today.  In fact, I need to get on the road pretty darned soon.  I can only give you 5 minutes."

Clark Kant:  "Five minutes will be just fine, Alfred!  Tell me, what is your business, Alfred?"

A. E. Newman:  "Oh, I sell prime cut beef to a few of the top steak houses in Columbia."

Clark Kant:  "Cool!  But you just don't strike me as the typical salesman type, Alfred."

A. E. Newman:  "Oh, and just how is that, Clark?"

Clark Kant:  "Well, first of all, you just don't dress the part.  I mean look at your scuffed, unpolished shoes.  And look at your wrinkled slacks.  And look at your rumpled sports jacket.  And your sloppily tied necktie."

A. E. Newman:  "Lordy, Clark!  We just met, and you're already criticizin' the hell out of me!  Maybe we should just terminate this interview!"

Clark Kant:  "Oooops!  I didn't mean to offend you, Alfred.  By the way, I think you spilled some coffee on your dingy white shirt.  You may want to clean that off before you call on your first client."

A. E. Newman:  "You can just kiss my ass, Clark!  I'm out of here!  Good luck with your stupid 'Man On The Street' interviews!"

As you can see, my first 'Man On The Street' interview didn't go real well.  Maybe I can get Jimmy or Lois to do these things!

Clark Kant
Editor In Chief