Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Man On The Street Interview #4 - Oppressive Heat

Published by Lois Lame, SSALRCYTMVDQJCP & Assistant Editor

I caught up to Quincy McGoo just as he was about to enter The Bank Bar on Schiller Street at 5:30 p.m. this evening.

Lois:  Hi, Mr. McGoo!  Guess you're headin' inside for a couple cold ones, eh?
Mr. McGoo:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You betcha!  Gotta cool down!
Lois:  Sure has been a scorcher!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh yeah, yeah!  Hotter than hell!  Think it hit 98° F this afternoon
Lois:  Can I buy you a beer, Mr. McGoo?!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh yeah, yeah sure!  Sure you can, sweetie!
Lois:  Let's continue our discussion inside where it's cool!
Mr. McGoo:  Sounds great, sweetie!
Lois:  Hi Wayne!  Give Mr. McGoo his usual, and I'll have a Bud Light!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh, OK.  Thank ya sweetie!
Lois:  Mr. McGoo, I'm Lois Lame from Hermann Hearsay.  I'd like to interview you for our 'Man On The Street Interview' feature.  In this case, I suppose we'll have to call it our 'Man In The Bar Interview'!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh, oh, glad to oblige!
Lois:  I'd like to ask you what you do to stay cool in the kind of oppressive heat and humidity we've been having?
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh, oh, I drink my beer out of a frosty mug, and I don't go home to my apartment which doesn't have A/C until midnight when things have cooled down a bit.  That means I get to drink one frosty mug after another from 5 or 6 p.m. until midnight.  That's 6 - 7 hours of cold beer drinkin'.
Lois:  Wow!  That's a lot of drinkin', Mr. McGoo!  You must spend $25 every night on beer! 
Mr. McGoo:  $30 to be exact!
Lois:  So you spend about $900 per month on beer?  Is that right?
Mr. McGoo:  I don't know.  I never added it all up, sweetie!
Lois:  30 days per month times $30 per day.  That's $900 in a month, Mr. McGoo!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh, I suppose you're right, sweetie!
Lois:  Mr. McGoo, you could have air-conditioning installed in your apartment for that kind of money!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh,  I see what you're sayin', sweetie!
Lois:  I want you to call my HVAC guy tomorrow and get an estimate for installing air-conditioning in your apartment.  Here's one of his business cards.  You give him a call!
Mr. McGoo:  Oh, oh, thank you sweetie!
Lois:  You're very welcome, Mr. McGoo!
Mr. McGoo:  Wayne, give us another round ...... and some fresh frosty mugs too!

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