Gasconade County Commissioners' Meeting - 6/10/2010

Published by Dick Schaefer, Contributing Writer and Part-Time Amateur Investigative Reporter

In my first big reporting assignment with Hermann Hearsay, I had the great misfortune of having to cover this morning's County Commissioners' Meeting.  What a bummer!  Jimmy, couldn't you have assigned me to the sports beat or the restaurant review beat or maybe the massage parlor review beat?!

The last time I attended one of the County Commissioners' meetings was way back in September of 2009.  I was reminded this morning why I stopped attending.  Can you say ...... B-O-R-I-N-G?!!!

If you really want to know the excrutiatingly dull details about how the meeting began at 8:30 am with the 'Pledge of Allegiance', immediately followed by the reading of the minutes from the June 3rd meeting in Owensville, followed by Southern District Commissioner Jerry Lairmore's motion (seconded by Northern District Commissioner Matt Penning) that the county pay its bills (Of course, we should pay our damned bills!), followed by Presiding Commissoner Ron Jost's monotone summary of the Road Department Meeting in Drake, etc. etc. etc., then you can go to one of the other online local news sites for that report.

I just don't have the patience nor the discipline for news reporting ...... at least not for reporting on Gasconade County Commissioners' Meetings.  I have no interest in reporting to you the kind of mindless trivia that gets discussed at these open and public meetings.  Other reporters can regurgitate all that relatively insignificant "stuff" to you if they choose to do so.  But not me!  Besides, if I were to report all the details, I would have to tell you how woefully ill-prepared the Presiding Commissioner is when it comes to leading the meeting.  He reads correspondence during the meeting rather than doing his homework by reading that stuff prior to the meeting.  He doesn't move the meeting along efficiently.  There are many pregnant pauses during the meetings while he fumbles with his papers.  He has never properly and officially adjourned a commissioners' meeting.  He never calls for a motion to adjourn the meeting.  Rather he just slams the gavel and adjourns it.  Larry Miskel can't take over too soon!

Oh, I can tell you that I tried real hard.  I even took Hermann Hearsay's new digital voice recorder to the meeting.  I intended to report every little detail of the meeting.  But I just can't bring myself to doing so.  Nope, I will not allow myself to be used by these politicians for the purpose of reporting to the public only those few trivial subjects which they choose to dicuss in their public meeting!

Instead of the stuff that was discussed in this morning's meeting, let me tell you some of the subjects that were NOT discussed by our three county commissioners.  I feel it is much more important and instructive to tell you what was NOT discussed.  This is where the "real story" lies and perhaps that's why Presiding Commissioner Ron Jost doesn't put these subjects on the agenda!  Afterall it's easier to talk about which county road needs gravel or rock, the status of Lesa Lietzow's office refrigerator, the need to provide custodian Dennis Kattelman some help cutting the brush on the south hillside in front of the courthouse, etc.  But my friends, I have a pretty good 'Bull Shit Meter'.  I know when I'm being B.S.'d, and I know when politicians are covering up the real stories!

Some of the more important subjects which were NOT discussed and which are rarely discussed:

1. the status of the courthouse preservation and restoration project and Presiding Commissioner Jost's work with the GCCS (By the way Ron, don't forget to attend the 6/21 meeting of the GCCS!  I'm sure you have received an invitation as you did for the May meeting, a meeting you ignored!),
2. the status of the project to fund and construct the much needed courthouse emergency access road (We really should get this project done before someone dies or a fire destroys a major portion of the courthouse because we can't get the fire trucks up the hill!),
3. the current county budget status at mid-year (Guess what Commissioners!  Your 2010 budget is already in trouble!  You'll probably figure that out in October, Ron!)
4. the status of projects to address glaring outages found during the 2002 and 2006 state audits (Oh hell, Ron, why do anything about all that pesky stuff right now?!  We'll soon have the results and recommendations from our 2010 state audit, an audit which you can also ignore!), and
5. Oh, fiddle faddle!  I could go on and on, but I don't believe in "piling on"!

Jimmy, please!!!  You gotta get me off this County Commission news beat!  After just one meeting, I am already tearing my hair out!  And I really don't have that much left!

Performance Metrics:

Total # FREE Subscribers: 000,337

Total # Premium Subscribers: 000,026

Total # Ultra Premium Subscribers: 000,003

Total # Platinum Lifetime Subscribers: 000,003

Subscribers Currently Online: 000,079

New Visitors Currently Online: 000,030

Alexa U.S. Traffic Ranking: 307,272

Total # Subscriber Telethons, Raffles & Bake Sales: 000,000

Reciprocal Websites:

http://www.bergerbaloneywithmayoblogspot.com/ (Berger News)

http://www.dschaefer.vemma.com/ (Ultra Premium Nutritional Drinks)

http://www.heart2heartlyrics.blogspot.com/ (Song Lyrics)

http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/ (Social Networking)

http://www.mid-missouri-mule-rides.blogspot.com/ (Family Fun)

http://www.ngnn.com/ (Hermann, New Haven and Owensville NEWS)

http://www.rivertownrecipes.blogspot.com/ (Food & Drink Recipes)

http://www.vemmadrinker.blogspot.com/ (Premium Nutritional Drinks)

http://www.watkinsonline.com/richardhschaefer (Watkins Products)

Non-Reciprocal Websites:

http://www.dorasspinningwheel.com/ (Embroidered Caps, Shirts, Etc.)

http://www.hermannadvertisercourier.com/ (The Hermann A-C)

http://www.hermannchamberofcommerce.com/ (Hermann C of C)

http://www.timeforpie.com/ (Pie, Rolls, Scones, Coffee, Lattes & More)