Update: Clark Doing Well In The Psych Ward

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Night Desk, Investigative Reporter, Sports Reporter and Acting Editor In Chief

Clark asked me to pass along to everyone that he is doing just fine!  As you may recall, Clark checked himself into a St. Louis mental institution to begin a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation on Thursday of last week.  The photo on the right was taken of Clark in a group therapy session with four other patients on Saturday afternoon.  Peculiar thing ..... in Clark's group of five, there are four daily online news service reporters.  The other fellow (the one with the beard) is an unemployed nuclear physicist.

This fun-loving group of patients, led by Clark, escaped from the mental institution after their group therapy session on Saturday afternoon and commandeered a couple cabs to give them a ride over to 'The Hill'.  They had a splendid Italian meal at Cunetto's.  Clark says he would highly recommend the
restaurant to our readers.  It seems that Clark is bonding quickly with the other patients at the mental institution.  People seem to like him wherever he goes!

Clark thanks all of our readers who have sent him dozens of text messages wishing him well, and he especially wants to thank The Happy Shoveler who brought him an exquisite cut of prime rib, a baked potato, some au jus, and a fifth of Crown Royal this Sunday evening for dinner!  Clark says the prime rib was absolutely delicious ..... to die for!  And the Crown Royal wasn't bad either!  He told me that the prime rib he had this evening ranks right up there with the best prime rib he has had at a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.  The baked potato was really good too, but he would have preferred Matt Penning's famous German potato salad.

Clark confided in me that the folks at the institution have conducted electo-shock treatments on him three times thus far.  (Clark says the treatments hurt a little and make him thirsty for Diet Pepsi.)  They have also asked him to look at ink spots and tell them what he sees.  (Clark says they just look like ink spots to him.)  In addition, they have played word association games with Clark.  (Of course, Clark did really well with the word association since he's the #6 journalist in Gasconade County and learned lots of words up at Mizzou's J-School a long time ago when he went to school there.)  Clark feels he is excelling in the group therapy sessions.  He enjoys all of his fellow patients and is making some great new friends!

Clark says to tell Mr. Noedel and Mr. Vonk of CNL that he initially resented their unkind suggestions that he might be mentally unstable.  But now he's glad he listened to them and check himself in for psychiatric evaluation.  He says he's learning a lot about himself and would recommend the experience to them as well. 

We anticipate that Clark will be released on Friday, 4/16 ........ provided, of course, he doesn't pull anymore stunts like escaping from the institution as he and his buddies did on Saturday night!  Clark and his friends are just itching to bust out of the place on Monday afternoon so they can go to the Cardinals' home opener!  Don't let 'em catch you, Clark!

Jimmy Oldsun
Night Desk, Investigative Reporter, Sports Reporter and Acting Editor In Chief
www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com