THIS NEWS REPORT FILED IN JUST 2 MINUTES AFTER WE LEARNED ABOUT IT! WE'RE FAST! IN FACT, WE'RE FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET ..... JUST LIKE SUPERMAN!
This happened just 2 minutes ago! Why wait 22 minutes to see the story published by CNL or why wait a week later to see the same story in The Hermann A-C when you can read all about it here on Hermann Hearsay ..... 11 times faster!
We don't know if it was really Mr. McGoo or not but we think it was. Kinda looked like him anyway! Bald head, a bit rotund and those unmistakeable squinty eyes! If it wasn't Mr. McGoo, our apologies to him and his family. We were rushing out the rear entrance to file our report so we couldn't confirm. We don't know if Mr. McGoo broke his nose when he hit it on the bar during his fall ..... but let's just say he did! Makes for a cool, salacious story! We understand Mr. McGoo's wife wasn't called, because McGoo was pretty inebriated. If she learns of his poor unfortunate drunken mishap by reading about it here on Hermann Hearsay before the police can contact her, we apologize! We're just sooooo darned fast! More important to be fast than considerate of the next of kin! Well, we don't know if McGoo ultimately expired enroute to the hospital. You see, in 2 minutes, we didn't have time to check into that aspect of the story!
The important thing is that we're FAST! AND WE'RE ALSO FULL OF ERRORS, LIES, HALF-TRUTHS, DISTORTIONS AND INNUENDOES! You pretty much can't trust a word that we've published, but the important thing is that we're FAST!
We don't know if it was really Mr. McGoo or not but we think it was. Kinda looked like him anyway! Bald head, a bit rotund and those unmistakeable squinty eyes! If it wasn't Mr. McGoo, our apologies to him and his family. We were rushing out the rear entrance to file our report so we couldn't confirm. We don't know if Mr. McGoo broke his nose when he hit it on the bar during his fall ..... but let's just say he did! Makes for a cool, salacious story! We understand Mr. McGoo's wife wasn't called, because McGoo was pretty inebriated. If she learns of his poor unfortunate drunken mishap by reading about it here on Hermann Hearsay before the police can contact her, we apologize! We're just sooooo darned fast! More important to be fast than considerate of the next of kin! Well, we don't know if McGoo ultimately expired enroute to the hospital. You see, in 2 minutes, we didn't have time to check into that aspect of the story!
The important thing is that we're FAST! AND WE'RE ALSO FULL OF ERRORS, LIES, HALF-TRUTHS, DISTORTIONS AND INNUENDOES! You pretty much can't trust a word that we've published, but the important thing is that we're FAST!
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Well done, Jimmy! Were you at The Barrel Bar last night OR was the report phoned in by one of your many "roving reporters" in Hermann?
ReplyDeleteClark
Goodness gracious, Jimmy! I've heard of "2 minute eggs", but before now, I've never heard of "2 minute news reports"!
ReplyDeleteJethro